He filed for a decrease in child support


i just received in the mail today a letter stating that my ex boyfriend, father of our 2 3/4 yr old son, is filing a motion to decrease his child support for the follwoing reasons:
he has a newborn child ( 3 months old)
when child support was originally established (sept 07) he was working a FT job (had been there for 1 1/4 years) and is no longer with that job, self employed in construction and unemployed.

now here’s my dilemna - when my ex found out that i filed for child support, he quit that job he had been at for over a year and started working in construction b/c he knew that they couldn’t garnish his wages b/c he would be getting paid cash. the job he did have was paying $11/hr and he was working FT - he works in construction and gets paid more per hour but also works less hours due to the job/project.

we had court earlier this month for a failure to comply with court order (from previous times) and he was to come to that court date with:
a job
a payment
proof that he has been looking for a job
proof that he went to a program to help him look for a job for people w/ felony records

he showed up with only he had submitted his resume to places, but i guess the judge saw through him, so he was sent to jail. of course he was released the next day on a $500 bond. (interesting how he doesn’t have $$ to pay child support, but he does have money to release him from jail)

is the judge going to have sympathy for him b/c of the economy situation and also the fact that he has a newborn - he is about 8 months past due on child support -he pays sporadically, sometimes he does make the full payment, sometimes he pays what he can.

the support ordered isn’t as much ($450) as others i have read about, but it does help out - i have never depended on it b/c i saw within the first couple of months that paying child support wasn’t one of his priorities, but i am getting by with my self employment - i can only afford to put our son in preschool and not ft daycare, b/c as we all know that is just sooo expensive - luckily i have family members that can watch him, but i would like to put him in FT daycare b/c it is starting to take a toll on the family members. i would have to work a ft and pt job b/c i cant depend on him taking care of his responsibilities just to make ends meet and where does that leave me time to bond and have a relationship with my son?!

i have a feeling that my ex is working under the table right now since the last court date earlier this month but not being honest about it b/c he would rather support his girlfriend, her son and their new 3 month old son they have together. he is somehow able to pay his mortgage, car payment, car insurance, cell phone, internet, online video game memberships, food, gas, etc. - although he did say last time he was having family members assist him with paying some of those bills…

is there anything i can do to make sure that this judge doesn’t decrease his payment?


I am just floored that he has made this request and he is not taking care of his responsibility - what kind of father/dad requests to lower his financial responsibilities to his own child???

if i can make it on my own being self employed i think he should be expected to also! i have a feeling he just wants to live off the government (food stamps, wic, medicaid, etc.) so that way he can use the excuse that he is unemployed to qualify for that assistance and also get out of paying his child support


Let me say first of all that I just went through the exact same thing. First of all, having another child does not make your child support for the first child go away. Second, having your own business is A JOB.

Now, what I found is having your own business does make it alot easier to hide income. And unfortunately some non custodial parents paying child support do use that to their advantage (which my ex did). The good news is you can find it. The bad news is it is very hard to prove on your own, I had, had, had to get an attorney because my ex was so sneaky (even hiding income in his new wife’s name/accounts). Even if you have your own business, you have to file tax returns, have business bank accounts, and have books for that business. If you think he is hiding money an attorney can subpoena all that information (HE HAS To Prove His income). My attorney even subpoenaed all my ex’s new wife’s information and found the ex’s income because he went as far as not to have bank accounts in his personal name. Also, your ex has to provide proof of why he left a good paying job to have his own business and is not making any money. If he voluntarily left his job or got fired, his income can be imputed to what he was making at his job. I had to subpoena my ex’s old employer to find out the real deal. My ex would go to any extreme to not pay child support. If he is found to be hiding income in bad faith, a judge will impute his income. It sounds like your judge is already on to him so that is good.

First thing I will suggest is try to find out everything you can about this business he has started and what happened at his old job. Piece of advice, find out if he’s incorporated. Go to the NC secretary web site and find out if his business is incorporated and whose name it is in. Another piece of advice, go to the UCC filings research page on the NC Secretary of state website…if his company is renting or buying construction equipment that is proof that he can pay child support and you can find that informarmation about his business there because incorporated companies have to file that information with the secretary of state.

Next, if he has bought anything…car, boat, house, property records are public information you can find out if he owns anything in his name. You can subpoena the applications he fills out to get a new car, bank loan for a house etc. His income will be on there. Most people put their income or even inflate their income when filling out this type of paperwork to buy something…That is proof for you to show his real income.

Finally, let me say this to any parent who is so selfish and greedy and lies about their income or hides their income to deprive their own child of their needs, YOU are the lowest form of SCUM! But believe me it happens it happened to me. Don’t let this jerk do that to your child, he is just as responsible for that child’s life and needs as you are. You will never regret a decision to protect your child. It’s just too bad that you have to do so from this child’s own father. And let me say this to the girlfriends and new wives of these jerks. If they will do it to their other children, they WILL do it to yours too! Don’t be fooled for one second.


In order to avoid contempt your ex must prove that he is unable to pay child support at the set amount. You are entitled to subpoena his bank records, and payment records from his employer to prove that he does indeed have the money to pay.
As for his motion to reduce child support he must prove that there has been a substantial change in circumstances warranting a reduction. Loss of a job or reduction in income are usually sufficient, however if he is decreasing his income in bad faith, or hiding his income the court will not reduce the support.