He left

There’s really no one that can answer that question for you, and ultimately you and your children will be the ones to live with the consequences of either decision. My only advice would be this: First, decide for yourself and your children if you want to stay in this marriage, then talk to your husband (if you can) about whether or not he wants your marriage to work. If the decision on both sides is yes then you will need to discuss what you both expect out of it. If either of you decide you don’t want to stay married, I would suggest that you first file for separation. That means that when he comes to visit the children, he no longer stays with you overnight. If he’s visiting only once a month, and not providing for his family or making it possible for you to provide then that may be considered abandonment. I’m not sure on what abandonment entails. You could possibly be entitled to alimony, since you do not work, and child support. If moving closer to your family is a feasable option for you, it may help you to have some emotional support there and someone to be “on your side”.

This is only my opinion, but it sounds as though there may be a 3rd party involved if he doesn’t want you to move to where he is working and living now. I know that sometimes it’s necessary for a husband and wife not to live together for short periods of time, like in the instance of finding new jobs, but it should never be a choice unless the marriage is over.

Dear sonni:

Greetings. No, you cannot file for divorce. Instead, you should file for alimony, child support, post separation support, child custody, and equitable distribution. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My husband of 20 years retired from the military earlier this year. He sped up everything. I only got a week’s notice before we were to move out of housing. We had agreed that I would quit my night job so that I would be available to take the kids back and forth to school. He got a civil service job in Georgia and we were suppose to join him there when the school year ended. He has now decided that he doesn’t want us there and he really wants us to go to Texas to be near my family. He comes to visit about once month and sleeps with me. Then he’ll start yelling about how I nag him. He has moved us into a small two bedroom pay-by-the month apartment which is out of the kids old school district. I have no job and bad credit. We do not have a joint bank account. I have power of attorney but when I took money out his bank in South Carolina he took most of the money out and as far as I know put it in a bank in Georgia. I am stressing because I don’t have a job, my bills are mounting,we have have been wearing the same clothes and they’re wearing out, we’re in this small place, and I just feel like we’re at his mercy. One day he says that we might get back together then he says he can’t stand me and he has never loved me. I feel hurt, confused, and a little stupid because I still love him. I want honesty from him and a set amount of money to work with.I want a secure place for my children to go to school. I wanted to to go school to be a nurse but I can content myself with a decent job. Should I file for divorce?