He took her out of state--who should pay travel expenses?


#1

My ex took my little girl out of state to live. He had been living with his girlfriend and then decided he wanted my six-year-old to live with him. At that time, he still had a NC drivers license and had refused to give me a home address, only a PO box (he did not want me to know the girlfriend’s address). I"m pretty sure he is also still filing his income taxes as a NC resident. AFTER he took her and filed for custody, he got his own residence in the other state.

He makes a LOT of money. I had been a stay at home mother for years (we have an older son as well–he is now away at prep school). I’ve even got an email from him telling me, “I pay good money for you to be a stay at home mother.”

So now . . . with him living about twelve hours away, I’m being forced to pay my own expenses to see this child (we’ve only had the temp hearing). I’m also having to try to find a job, and it’s going to be really, really difficult to get an employer to agree to let me have a four or five-day weekend every other month.

If he made the decision to move her out of state, and NC has jurisdiction over this child because she was a resident of NC, and he has plenty of money to afford it, why shouldn’t he be paying for me to see this child every other month? Doesn’t sound right to me . . . but I don’t have an attorney. (I myself am of the belief that judges favor those with teh attorneys, that they do not want to be bothered by those of us who have no choice but to represent ourselves–this is not our first excursion into family court, so I’m not basing this opinion on just this one issue).

HE took her out of state. HE made that decision. HE can afford it. Since everyone is supposed to be looking out for what is in the best interests of the child, doesn’t it just seem logical that he ought to be paying these expenses? If he can fly others to this other state to see her, and it’s supposed to be all about what is best for the child (not who dad wants to hang out with), does anyone agree with me that he ought to be paying the travel expenses?

And what about residency? Last October, this guy filed for a duplicate (replacement) NC license, using my address. He says he was a resident of this other state at the time. How so? He had no address, other than a PO box. He had and still has the NC license. I’m totally perplexed by this. Anyone have any ideas?


#2

Does he have full legal and physical custody of the child?

Do you have a separation agreement or parenting agreement (that has been signed) that outlines a visitation schedule?


#3

No, he’s got temp custody till perm hearing next month.


#4

I would ask the lawyers… but can’t you have an action filed for emergency custody? Typically that’s what the lawyers at Rosen would recommend on the forums when one parent tries to take the child(ren) out of state.

Maybe this falls under parental kidnapping since they aren’t telling you where they are or when they’re returning.


#5

No, that did not happen. We had 50 50 rights at the time and he just did not send her home after xmas. Sounds wrong, but once again he got away with it.


#6

Did you file for Emergency Custody?

The courts won’t automatically do anything, you have to file a complaint to get anyone to act on it. At this point however, it’s quite late in the game, filing may not do anything.