I am very confused by this. My ex is an alcoholic and was given visitation every 1st and 3rd Saturday, 10am to 6pm, supervised by his father. He most often lives several hours away and goes long stretches without trying to excercise his visitation. He went on a very destructive binge and was calling our house for several months at all hours of the day and night leaving threatening messages. This is in violation of a provision on our order that states
‘Father may call the minor children at REASONABLE TIMES AND INTERVALS BUT SHALL NOT CALL THE MINOR CHILDREN AFTER 8:30 PM WHICH IS THEIR BEDTIME’.
During the summer break, with no notice or warning of any kind, he even showed up at my house, very drunk and irate. I wasn’t even aware that he was in Charlotte. I quickly locked up the house and called the police. My children were terrified and hid in their rooms. He left and I did not file a report. This was in violation of a provision in our order that states
‘Father shall not come to Mother’s residence at any point during the excercise of his visitation priveledges or at any other time unless invited to do so by Mother’.
I never filed any violations. Nor did I ever take him to court over non-payment of child support or for failure to keep me informed of his work status. In fact, the we have not been to court since we got the original consent order in 2004.
Now, in our order, it says he forfeits his visitation if the drinks the day before or during the visit. He has done this on several occasions, so I denied the visit. His father, who is appointed supervisor has also refused visits or ended them early due to my ex’s drinking or being in a bad frame of mind, creating a harmful environment for the children.
For several months, every time he called, he was drunk or irate, so we did not take his calls. Now, he’s taking me to court saying that I am keeping him from seeing the children. This is unfair.
He stopped calling for quite some time and I had no idea why. I’ve recently found out that he was in rehab. After learning that he is sober, I arranged a visit with his father on the 3rd, which is his scheduled visitatin day. Knowing that he would be seeing the children on the 3rd, he went to the courts and filed a contempt order against me on the 2nd. I found out on the 6th, when I received the order to appear in court.
I don’t believe that I am in contempt, but my ex can be very convincing. I am afraid of what will happen.
Now that I know he’s sober, I am happy to give him his visits and phone calls. I only have a problem with it when he is drinking. He is a very angry drunk and the kids are afraid of him when he drinks.
Will the judge take into account that I was only protecting my children from a toxic situation? My children are 10 and 12. I will assume I should not bring them with me, but if they write letters to the judge, will he/she consider them? or will the judge think I coersed my children to write them?
I have numerous recordings that my ex has left on my answering machine that clearly depict what a destructive frame of mind he was in and his drunkenness. If I take the recordings, will the judge listen and consider them as a character reference?
Please advise. I am very afraid and I cannot afford a lawyer.
The sad thing, when my ex is sober and reasonable, I am fully willing to work with him. In the past, I’ve given him more than I was ordered, because he was doing well and I felt safe.