Help Me Get My Spouse Out of My House!

I own my own home. My husband and I have been married for two months. We only new each other a week before we got married, and ofcourse, it is not working. The house is soley in my name, I bought it about 2 1/2 years ago. He won’t leave. Please tell me what I can do to get him out of my house. I have heard I can evict him. I just want to make sure I do everything the right way. I have two small children that are not his, and I am currently pregnant by him. The utilities are in my name. Everything is in my name. He left one day and changed his mind and came back. I would not let him in and he kicked my doors in. He has left my children alone while they were in his care. He has cursed in front of them. He misrepresented himself as a man that was ready to be a Father. Please Help!!!

What would happen if I leave? Of course I would turn the utilities off if I leave. He can’t afford to pay the mortgage or the utilities. Would he be able to turn the utilities back on if I turn them off. How could I gain back control of my house?

You cannot evict him from the marital residence. You would need to have a hearing in front of a judge in order to attempt to regain possession of the home, and he would have the chance to explain his side to the judge. You should try to work out a separation agreement with him while he’s living there if possible, which will require him to move out shortly after it is signed.

He has already stated that he will not sign a separation agreement. What kind of hearing would we have in front of a judge? Do you think the process would be easier if I move out first? I don’t want to lose my home, and I know he can’t afford to pay the mortgage or utilities. I definitely can’t afford to pay to live in two places. I was hoping I could get an apartment, transfer all the utilities, get him out of the house, and rent the house out for a year. Which at that time my children and I would move back in. Since the home is in my name, would he be able to turn the utilities back on with out my permission? I was thinking he might try to get spousal support, but with me already having two children and one on the way I figured that wouldn’t hold much weight in court.

In order to have peace in my home again, I am willing to walk away. I just want to make sure I don’t have any other choice.

** Not a Lawyer**

I would be careful about moving out as, I believe, if you “abandon the marital residence” he could change the locks on YOU and you could be charged with trespass if you go back in, even to get your own property, even though your name is on the deed, until it is all hashed out in front of a judge.

not a lawyer

From my own experience, I would not leave the home. I was basically forced out of mine (he was not leaving and was abusive – I had no choice but to leave) so I moved out for the safety of myself and my daughters. Now, almost a year later we’re doing equitable distribution and I’m being informed that a judge will not force him from the home because he has resided there for the past year. The fact that I was forced out of my home evidently meant nothing. As they say, possession is 9/10ths of the law.

Unfortunately, the law does not provide for any type of “spouse eviction.” The best way for you to handle this is to file for a divorce from bed and board, giving the court some compelling reason (like you are the primary caregiver for your children and are pregnant) to do an interim distribution of the house to you. The fact that the house is solely in your name will definitely help.

You should consult with an attorney about your options. Locking your spouse out is not a solution. If he refuses to work on a separation agreement, then litigation is your only option.

If you do lock him out, it may be construed as abandonment, which is a marital fault. So, do not do this unless he suddenly moves out on his own.

He has basically no chance at alimony. You were only married for two months. I wouldn’t worry about that.

Thank you so much for your help!

I wasn’t sure if Divorce from bed and board was an option. Although I have read that that is a long process. My husband did tell me he has a pornography addiction, but I don’t have any proof of that. I definitely don’t trust him around my girls for that fact alone.

My husband has agreed to me giving him $1000.00 (as a gift) to move out. He won’t sign any agreement. I told him I would give him the money as he is walking out the door. At that time I would have the locks changed. I have told him that If he does not leave, I will have the utilities turned off. Mainly because I will have to leave and I can’t afford to pay for two places to live. Now he has decided to consult an attorney first. Which is understandable. Can you think of anything he could possible do other than not move out?

I appreciate all of your assistance during this fustrating time.

You are welcome for the assistance. I am glad that I can give you some ideas to try to resolve this as simply as possible. I agree that filing a divorce from bed and board may be a good idea for you, but only if he has committed a marital fault (such as adultery, cruelty, habital drunkeness, etc.) or hiring an attorney to draft and negotiate a separation agreement with your spouse while you are both still in the home. Since your spouse will also learn that you have the option of a divorce from bed and board action through the negotiations, this would be the best option in my opinion. However, he may not cooperate with this. If he does decide to consult with an attorney, this will only help you out in my opinion since it will likely be easier to deal with him if he has an attorney. The attorney will explain things to him and hopefully he will listen.

I do not totally agree with you cutting the utilities off while you are both still living there (or if he is living there alone if you moved out) because that may be considered “constructive abandonment” and fault of your own which would defeat your divorce from bed and board claim.

One option for you is to stop. Stop cooking for him. Cook only for you and your kids. Don’t do his laundry. Don’t buy him food (that will entail going to store every day for you and your kids, but that is a sacrifice to make). Let the yard grow wild. Now, yes, this will be hard for you to do, since you like to have a nice home, but it will also show him what it is like to live with him and make it not so nice for him anymore. If he is living on easy street…why would he leave?

Next option, hire an attorney. I would combine this option with the first option. An attorney can help you stay steady on your course, find more reasons to help you.

Last option, file an action for divorce from bed and board due to whatever marital fault he may have committed. If he isn’t guilty of a marital fault, you and your kids might need to move out on your own and live with relatives or friends until you can get him out of your house through the courts.

Whatever you do, if he moves out, immediately change the locks and then have an attorney send him a letter advising him on domestic criminal trespass. If you can’t afford an attorney, do your best to draft a letter informing him that if he returns to the home, the police will be called and he will be charged with that. Best of luck.