You are welcome for the assistance. I am glad that I can give you some ideas to try to resolve this as simply as possible. I agree that filing a divorce from bed and board may be a good idea for you, but only if he has committed a marital fault (such as adultery, cruelty, habital drunkeness, etc.) or hiring an attorney to draft and negotiate a separation agreement with your spouse while you are both still in the home. Since your spouse will also learn that you have the option of a divorce from bed and board action through the negotiations, this would be the best option in my opinion. However, he may not cooperate with this. If he does decide to consult with an attorney, this will only help you out in my opinion since it will likely be easier to deal with him if he has an attorney. The attorney will explain things to him and hopefully he will listen.
I do not totally agree with you cutting the utilities off while you are both still living there (or if he is living there alone if you moved out) because that may be considered “constructive abandonment” and fault of your own which would defeat your divorce from bed and board claim.
One option for you is to stop. Stop cooking for him. Cook only for you and your kids. Don’t do his laundry. Don’t buy him food (that will entail going to store every day for you and your kids, but that is a sacrifice to make). Let the yard grow wild. Now, yes, this will be hard for you to do, since you like to have a nice home, but it will also show him what it is like to live with him and make it not so nice for him anymore. If he is living on easy street…why would he leave?
Next option, hire an attorney. I would combine this option with the first option. An attorney can help you stay steady on your course, find more reasons to help you.
Last option, file an action for divorce from bed and board due to whatever marital fault he may have committed. If he isn’t guilty of a marital fault, you and your kids might need to move out on your own and live with relatives or friends until you can get him out of your house through the courts.
Whatever you do, if he moves out, immediately change the locks and then have an attorney send him a letter advising him on domestic criminal trespass. If you can’t afford an attorney, do your best to draft a letter informing him that if he returns to the home, the police will be called and he will be charged with that. Best of luck.