Greetings. The first step, if you are still living together, is to hire an attorney and have them at least begin the negotiations for the final settlement prior to moving out. Now, specifically to your questions.
The split occurs as soon as you can agree to the same. If you can agree to the split of property in a separation agreement prior to you moving out, it can occur then. Do not wait for the date of divorce, but work it out, through an attorney if necessary, prior to then. If you wait for divorce, you will be forced to either file a lawsuit or you will lose your right to equitable distribution. If he sells anything before you divide it, you are entitled to half of the value, regardless of his sale.
You should NOT wait until the time of divorce to divide your property. You should work out the separation agreement now. if you do agree to divide up the retirement, then you will need a QDRO. He will always be responsible for all assets he depletes or hides away.
Yes, he will be required to remove your name from the mortgage if he wants to stay in the house, or he will have to sell the house if he cannot refinance. Yes, you would have to agree on the selling price if he has to sell. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.