How do I prepare for divorce or help prevent it?


#1

Dear GS:

Greetings. First, you need to have your attorney prepare a financial analysis for you with their CPA. It is important that your attorney create this for you, as they know the specific changes you will be going through.

Now, she probably knows that the funds from her Dad’s passing are separate, so I would not use this as a negotiating tool.

You need to understand the differences in your income and hers, whether alimony is an issue, and if so, what about marital fault.

Finally, I would also make sure that you retain an attorney that bills in a flat fee and is trained in the Collaborative Law approach, which has the highest incidents of reconciliation.

I wish you the best and hope that you can find a more sensitive and loving spouse when you go home today!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#2

Thanks for the response.

Things are going somewhat better, but a long way from good.

I have found some financial papers and should find an attorney to see what is what. As far as our incomes they are about the same even though she only works part-time.

I have tryed not to worry about this lately and just get back to being myself. I have felt like I was walking on pins and needles for to long. Just because she wants to be a b#@* most of the time doesn’t mean that I should be an sob. I’m a little more layed back now.

Thanks again, GS

Trying to get prepared


#3

Dear GS:

The only person you can control is you…and it sounds like you are working on how you react to her and her behavior. Please, please, please hire an attorney.

Over the last two days I have met with two separate people who did not hire attorneys, signed an agreement, and have come to our office for help getting out of the agreements. Our news for them is always grim…you only get one chance to have the agreement be fair to both parties! Best of luck and please try to have a happy holiday season!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

Thanks for the advice.

Who do you recommend for an attorney in Pitt County?

And how do I go about finding all the info that a CPA would need without her finding out? If I go to the Banks they will ask questions and then most likely call her.

Like I said, I do not want a divorce at all but need to be prepared.

Trying to get prepared


#5

Dear GS:

Greetings. First, are you going to court in Pitt County? If not, then you can contact our office for assistance.

The bank is not likely to call her if you request copies of your statements. You can usually get a lot of the information on line now. You need a current statement from all accounts.

No one says that a separation agreement has to lead to a divorce. You should protect your legal rights if you are worried or in the midst of a separation. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

ROSENDIVORCE.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#6

My marriage seems typical as I have heard many stories at work of divorces and why they happened.

She seemed to love me and did a lot for me before marriage and then after she got what she wanted during the first part of our marraige she now seems to care little about me. Very little love or affection. I am a very compassionate person and love a good hug.

When I needed to get to the Dr. for an urgent situation in which I didn’t need to drive. I asked her for help and she just shouted at me “What do you expect me to do”. Needless to say I had to walk through the neighbothood to find a ride to the Surgical center 100 miles away for an urgent surgery. I have tons of other signs that she could care less about me or the kids or even her own mother. She has threatened to “pack my bags and put them on the front porch”. I now know that in NC she can not legally do this unless I threaten her or hit her. She is a very good lier especially about money. And would not have a problem lying to a cop or judge to get me out.

I am in a lot of debt do to her lies, surgery expenses and my own stupidity. I asked her to sit down with me and help me with my bills but she only got mad. We still have seperate checking accounts and pay certain bills each. I sought financial help from the bank where I have a second mortgage to make her car payments and they have found a long term solution to my problems.

I do not want a divorce because I still love her and I don’t want my kids to have to go through this. She doesn’t seem to care.

Now for the questions…

How can I prepare myself for divorce as well as avoid it?

She has plenty of money in many accounts from her Dads death as well as another house. I don’t want any of this, but if I could use the fact that she could loose most of this in a divorce then maybe the next time she gets mad and trys to kick me out I can use the info. gained from here to change her mind. If she knows that she could loose several hundred thousand in dollars maybe she would change her mind.

What kind of advice can y’all offer me. What kind of questions should I ask an attorney and what kind of info. should I be looking at finding out.

Any help would be appreciated.

Trying to get prepared

Trying to get prepared