How do you get rid of a spouse who won't leave?

If you are your child’s primary caregiver it is unlikely that he will gain full custody, depending on how involved he is, you may share custody jointly.

If he refuses to pay child support, then child support enforcement can assist you in setting up child support.

Is it possible that you can move out until the house sells? If not you can file a lawsuit for a divorce from bed and board, and if you are successful the judge may order your spouse to leave the residence, however these lawsuits are expensive and time consuming.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

I have a problem that’s been going on for over a year now. Long story, but my husband and I were involved in a horrible custody dispute with his ex-wife for their three kids. The dispute went on for four years before we finally had to drop out in January 2006 because we couldn’t afford to fight anymore. We didn’t want to quit, but it was bankrupting us and our marriage was falling apart from the stress.

My husband’s been very moody, bitter and angry ever since. He believes he has no problems, though. I had to get a 50-B last October when he threatened me and demanded money from me that I didn’t have. We got back together, though, about two months later. We’ve been in counseling ever since, but I don’t think it’s doing any good. He thinks all counselors are man haters and I only want to go so I’ll have “somebody on my side.”

It’s not true. I want him to get some help to deal with the custody dispute he went through and ultimately had to give up on.

He’s been verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive toward me and, to a lesser degree (though I fear for the future), our 3-year-old son. It’s nothing concrete that I can prove. It’s all “mind games” type stuff that he’s very good at.

I want to leave him, but he’s said he won’t give me a divorce (though I know he can’t legally stop me from pursuing a separation and divorce), and he won’t leave until I give him $30,000, which is what he says half of our marital property is worth.

He said we can split up amicably (though he keeps coming back and saying he won’t ever leave or “let” me have a divorce) if I just give him $30,000 cash.

I don’t have any money for a lawyer, and because he wants to dodge child support, he’s only worked for cash for the past two years. He says I’d be court-ordered to pay him alimony because it looks like he’s financially dependent on me (which he is NOT, though I can’t prove that, either), and he’d get custody of our child, though I’m the child’s primary caregiver and have been since the day he was born.

We are trying to sell our house. If at all possible, I want to hold out and not do anything until the house sells, then take action. If this is going on while the house is still unsold, he’ll hold that up and run off any potential buyers just to cause me problems.

I have a whole host of problems with this man. He’s very mean to me sometimes, and I don’t like the way he talks to me in front of our son. He wasn’t always this way, and he seemed like he had changed when we first got back together around Christmas, but his verbal abuse has only gotten worse since then. I’ve told him repeatedly that I’ll live with it as long as he doesn’t talk to me that way in front of our child, but that just makes him do it even more, and it’s vicious.

Does anyone have any advice? Please, if you’re going to say I brought all of this on myself for taking him back, don’t waste your time. I already know that. Taking him back was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life.

I just need to know what to do now. Thank you.