How things get worse without trying

Stormy - If the credit cards are in her name, I do not think you are responsible. So sorry for your situation.

That is my understanding as well. If your name is not on the account you are not responsible for the charges.

Two things as to why the collector calls you:

  1. She put that number and address on the application for the card.

  2. She forged your name on the application (which is possible if she knows your Social Security number, she obviously knows your address).

If the first one is the case, tell the collector that she no longer lives there AND give the collector her real address. If the second is the case, tell the collector that you never signed up for the account and that your soon-to-be EX-wife may have defrauded the credit card company. The second, though a pain to deal with credit rating hassles that inevitably occur, might be especially nice for you since “credit fraud” is a crime and exposes her to civil liability (i.e. she could be sued by the issuer of the card).

Hope that helps.

I am going through a similar situation. You need to talk with an attorney. With the Equitable Distribution, you can have each item of debt put to question as to weather it is marital debt. If she created the debt for her own personal gratification, the judge can assign all that debt to her. I was told this only works with the debt though. Any assets are split 50/50.

Even if you don’t think you can afford an attorney, you should call around. They all charge different fee schedules, and you will be surprised to find out that you can afford one. I got a very competent one that worked a payment plan out for me. It is definitely worth the money in the long run.

Dear stormy:

Not that you want to spend more money, but it is time you look reality in the fact and GET OUT OF THE HOLE SHE IS DIGGING FOR YOU. Get an attorney, file a divorce from bed and board, and move on with your life.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Hello all of you out there. Well she took the children and left. This happened Sat-17th, I was attending a golf tournement for the church youth group. I left the house at 8:45,she left with our son to go yard sailing. I thought to myself we dont need to be doing that,but hey “maybe our son was promised and she was filling the promise. Well i was gone until 8:15 that evening and upon seeing the house dark it seemed mm ok . When the front door was opened,well there wasn’t much in the way . Well she left a message” which has been saved" were she was sorry for the mess, and that i finally was awarded my wish for her to go. Well I for one, was hoping for her to see what was going on and try to fix it with me. Counseling did not work,we went to four in the last 2 yrs. I found it was something “within” that could not be changed. I Guess i will recieve a call or visit by someone. I do know that there in town but dont know where. For now i’m cool with that. Looks like “the long road” ahead i must go . Thanks Your Freind In Jesus.

My friend,

You need to file for either full physical or joint physical custody of the children. Make sure the children spend at least, I believe, 127 NIGHTS of the year with you in order to avoid child support.

She may use the money like so, SO many parents do. In a way that’s NOT for their children, but for their own personal gratification.

I am sorry for what you are going through but DO NOT do what that man says you should do because it will only hurt the kids in the long run and she will need any money that you can send her so she may buy them clotes and etc…Just make sure she knows that the money is for those children.

You will have to pay child support by law and as long as you are seperated you should do the right thing and send her a check every month for an X amount ( ie. $100.00 a month) and send the check via Certified Mail and tell the post office that you want her to sign for it and keep that when you get it back in the mail so you will have proof of payment to show to the judge in the divorce hearing.

You should ask for Shared custody or let her have Sole.

I believe that children need their Mother while growing up as well as father too.

Keep documentation of everything, emails,messages,etc and proof of child support payments.

You will need any evidence you have of her cheating on you so keep everything you have and give it to your lawyer if you have one including anyother documentation you have. You may also want to make a copy for your own records!

And do not tell anyone what you are up to because it could get back to her and you DO NOT want her to know what you are doing and etc.

Good Luck.

No one wins in divorce only the Lawyers do!

Dear Stormy,
If you have not got an attorney do it first thing Monday.
As I was preparing to leave an abusive situtation…I found out there was approx. $88,000.00 in credit card debt and because I was working and he wasn’t (on disability), I got sued. I did not know that “WE” even had some of the accounts. Yes they can put your name down and as an card “user” you can be involved. Bankruptcy was the only way out and while I did all the work, and saved the house(that took another year), In the end he got the house. He also turned our children against me (I had also raised three from his first marriage. He tried to get me fired from my job, tried to have my car insurance cancelled and for almost two years filed his medical bills to my health insurance.

Change Banks! Change locks, phone number, and take pictures of everything…for it may not be in the house when you get home!
Good luck.


Well, just when i thought it was going to end smooth, the tide was turned. My wife had another domestic violance order presented to me. I won the case in court and went back home and found that she was preparing for a win.Most of my business paper work was stored in a box and you could see she wanted me gone. I have stuggled with alot of pain to repair somthing that she doesn’t want fixed.I now have asked her to help with getting things together to do taxes and she did not help with that one bit.I will be forced to file seperate and that will not help either one of us.A new twist is the bills that she has piled on in credit cards. All the cards where in her name and they call day and night to get the balance due caught up. She has refused to help with paying house hold bills also and has informed me that they are all my responsability. I feel that when she started work full time back in august of 2003 she would pay on her cards and then help with the bills in the home.Well the opposite has happened and it seems she did not pay or did not stop spending.Either way it has come down to her ignoring the fact that we are a married couple and need to share expensis. I am just about broke now and could use some advise on wether i can do anything to stop from going broke. I cant even come up with funds for an attorney’s visit because every penny is needed to make sure the roof stays over our head.I was told that she is storing cash for after a seperation and that she will make sure that i am broke. Is this what you see and is there a way out.I have been very sad for so long and would like to be me again!I want to thank you for all your prayers and concerns, this site was such a blessing to find,and i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart![:)]