This morning my husband told me that he has opened another bank account is his own name by himself and has stopped all checks/money from going into our joint account. He has left me with $10.29. He is now saying that he is leaving the house for a couple of months until i find a job, then he is returning to kick me and my kids out. What i would like to know is what exactly is suppose to happen to me and my children in this case? If i leave the house…is that still considered abandonment on me? I have to think about my children right now. IF he leaves the house, then i am homeless with 2 kids because i am a housewife. I do not have the money to pay for the house and the bills that come with the house. Can someone please tell me what am i suppose to do ASAP!!! Thank you.
Here’s what I would do, although an attorney (and others) might say differently for good reasons:
Let him leave. As soon as he does, change the locks on the doors. He has chosen to abandon the house.
Open a bank account in your name that he does not have access to.
Immediately file for post-separation support and child support. You are entitled to some compensation since you are a stay at home mom, and your kids are definitely entitled to financial support. The courts may and probably will impute at least minimum wage to you and calculate your financial need based upon that.
Take an inventory of everything that is in the house and start preparing for equitable distribution.
Educate yourself. Watch the Before you Divorce video on this site, and read through the documentation on the site to find out your rights/responsbilities and what you need to do to survive a divorce.
Document all communication with him after you separate via email or phone recordings. Be very careful to keep calm when speaking to him and never threaten him with anything in retaliation.
No matter what happens between you two, keep the kids out of it.
If after all this you can draft a separation agreement (get your own attorney to review it), by all means, do so.
His leaving and leaving you with no support may indeed constitute abandonment, which will look bad for him. But, keep in mind that since there are now two households to support, your standard of living will be much lower than it was.
I’m really sorry that this has happened to you. I know it’s a shock and you’re completely overwhelmed. Take things one day at a time, and reconnect with your family and friends. My prayers are with you.
First off, your if your husband leaves the house you should change the locks immediately. Once a spouse leaves the home they cannot return without the consent of the other. Your husband will have no right to kick you and you children out of the home now, or in a few months. You should absolutely stay in the home and I do not recommend that you leave.
You need to file an action for Child Custody, Child Support, Equitable Distribution, Post Separation Support, Alimony and Attorney’s fees. If you are a stay at home mom you are entitled to receive both child support and spousal support from your husband.
Once you file suit you can set a hearing date to establish temporary child support and post-separation support pretty quickly. You may also ask the judge to order your husband to pay for your attorney’s fees.
Listen to the advice. In my opinion, I wouldn’t say a WORD to your husband about any of it. Do as the lawyer here says and Athos. He is throwing things at you THINKING you don’t know better, but you do now. HE will be the one digging his own hole.
I know you’re a sahm and he may think that is to his advantage…but it isn’t. Let him leave. Take care of your children. File legal proceedings for child support and PSS ASAP. Ask family for money for a lawyer if necessary (I had to do that…plus I took credit against my credit cards).
You will get through this. Men who dominate and throw control like your husband is doing deserve no leniency. Be above him and do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your children. DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE. He can’t kick you out. If he tries to come back and get back in…call the police. Leaving for ‘a couple of months’ then coming back to take claim of the house is BS.
ALSO…from my experience…don’t let his words intimidate you. He may throw legal words at you, but don’t listen to him. Don’t back down. GOOD LUCK>
Yes, the advice on here is good. Do not leave the house. Since he has left, that will not work well for him. Borrow money from family and friends. Try your best to find out whether he is having an affair. His actions are suspicious! He cannot “kick” you out…not when he is the one who left! Run, don’t walk, to an attorney NOW!
What would you recommend my husband and I have placed in our wills?
My husband and I are in the process of completing our wills and we have no idea what to put in them? We have three minor children and and thats about it! Any suggestions?