I have not yet served but received a destination of mediator


Hello all,

Out of blue, I received a designation of mediator in family financial case letter from North Carolina State?

My husband has abandoned me at my daughter’s, and never talked to me, or allowed me go home, changed locks etc. He said he wanted a new wife bc he is tired of me…long sad story.

I am not served yet, how did I receive a letter of designation of mediator?

my daughter called his county office, and found out he filed bed and board divorce.

I am not yet served, what should be my next step? do I need to go to mediator? is it a court ordered or just a normal process? what if I don’t want a divorce? does the mediator in family financial case help get us together?

what is the disadvantage of him filing bed and board divorce on me?

Thank you very much.


If your husband filed for child custody, you will be ordered to attend mandatory child custody mediation through the courts. The purpose of mediation is not to help in reconciling, it is to help resolve custody prior to going to court.

If he filed, then the burden is on him to serve you with the paperwork associated with the initial filing.


There is no custody involved.

Do i have to go to the mediator? it says “designation of mediator in family financial case”.

how could I receive this without even being served for divorce?

Thank you in advance for your precious advice!


I assume this mediation is for an equitable distribution claim? I would obtain a copy of the court file in your case and schedule a consultation with an attorney in your county to discuss the process and what to expect.

If he filed something, then the burden is on him to serve you. You can’t be expected to appear at mediation or a court hearing if you haven’t been given proper notice.


But the problem is I have no money for a lawyer bc the husband has wiped the bank account…I am living with my daughter who is still a student…


*not a lawyer

Call or go visit the clerk of court where the action if filed. Notify them you were not served. If you don’t have funds for an attorney you have to figure it out on your own. The court will help with giving you the correct forms and some procedural help but no legal advise. Try Legal Aid services in your county.