AOA/CC Mediation Question

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
1

So we received notification that a court appointed mediator will be assigned for this AOA/CC case that my ex has levied against my current boyfriend. We do not have an attorney nor can we afford one. We both live paycheck to paycheck and own nothing except the cars that we currently drive to work every day. No savings, no property, nothing. My ex is just trying to find someone to blame for me leaving and divorcing him (as he refuses to admit that he abused myself and the girls).

Is this mediation to figure out whether this needs to go to court or not? What exactly am I to expect here? It says mediation is to be completed by 2/27/12 with tentative trial set for 6/25/12. I have photographs of him having sex with another woman, tapes of his verbal abuse, photographs of bruises that he left on my arms, a journal that I kept of the abuse I sustained at his hand etc. I understand that this case is against my boyfriend. However, I am of course his best witness because he did not cause the end of the marriage.

For mediation, do we really need an attorney if I have all of this information at my fingertips? Again, we simply don’t have the money for an attorney. He’s stating that he has lost everything. However, he has quit his job and is selling insurance as being “self employed”, purchased a car (it’s a 25 year old car but he did buy it), has sold marital property, remains in the marital home, doesn’t pay alimony or spousal support so this case is ludicrous. Is it possible that the mediator may even dismiss the case? I’m just not sure what to expect.

Thank you in advance for your time.

2

I am sorry that you are being put through this process. Your ex is obviously concerned solely with the principle of the matter, since he is not going to get any financial compensation paid to him. It is likely that your paramour is judgment-proof. To answer your question about mediation, it is not necessary for your paramour to have an attorney present. The mediator will work to negotiate between the two parties to see if this can be resolved ahead of the trial. The mediator cannot dismiss the case though. If you reach a settlement, then the case is over, but you would both have to agree to this. The mediator is not a judge and cannot dismiss it on his own. If he cannot broker a settlement, then it will go to a full trial unless your ex decides to dismiss the case. You should certainly bring your evidence with you, trying to show that your affections were already alienated as it were, but I cannot say for sure how much this will help you. The mediator may or may not let your ex know of your intention to use this evidence if necessary, but again, I cannot say how helpful it will be ultimately. Also, this would only really be relevant to the AOA claim. You don’t have to show that affections were alienated by the paramour for CC. Hopefully the mediator will be able to get it through to your ex that he is not going get any money out of this, and should drop the case. A lot of cases do get settled or resolved as a result of mediation. Good luck to you.