I know what I need to do - but, how?


#1

First, thank you for your service to the United States.

Second:

I’m not a lawyer.
You may be right that those emails may now be inadmissible in a trial… I’m not sure how the rules of evidence work in this state… they may be “fruit of the poisonous tree” to borrow a phrase. That is to say, because you obtained knowledge of these emails through illegal means you may not be able to turn around, obtain them legally and use them at trial. I would DEFINITELY talk to a lawyer about it.

One thing you may want to try is military law. You seemed to indicate that the person your wife is seeing is in the military as well. It is my understanding that the Code of Military Conduct prohibits any soldier from committing adultery. It may not help you out on the alimony side (I don’t know if you can use judicial rulings from a military court in civilian court) but it may stop the affair (if you want to try and patch things up with your wife) and will certainly put a crimp in his life and could expose him to a court-martial.

Hope that helps.


#2

The reason you want to prove the adultery, I assume, is to avoid paying alimony. First she needs to seek alimony. Wait and see if she does that.

If she does seek alimony (which is unlikely given the bar to alimony that is created by her conduct) then prove the illicit sexual behavior by asking her and the paramour about the behavior in a deposition, under oath. Also, seek out other witnesses and proof by using an investigator to follow up on any leads you might develop.

I suspect that the claim for alimony may never come.

Good luck.

Lee S. Rosen
Board Certified Family Law Specialist
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
NCdivorce.com
(919)787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#3

I didn’t know that I could use that to avoid alimony. But that’s certainly useful info. The main reason I want to prove adultry is to help to get custody of my kids (12 & 9). As far as using the UCMJ, this is an action that I am thinking about. However, my ‘sources’ lead me to believe he’s getting out of the military. I don’t know this, but…


#4

I probably should note that, my sources have informed me that my wife plans on moving out when this guy returns in August. I don’t think she’s moving out of the area - she’s pretty excited about a new job, and keeps mentioning the [i]benefits[i]. If she does move out, can she just pack the kids & go?


#5

Dear Archie:

Yes, she can take the children and move their home, as long as she does not plan on leaving the state. If she plans on leaving the state you may file with the court and ask that the court restrain her from leaving the state with your children, as that would detrimentally impact your visitation with the children. While you do not have a custody order, both parties have joint custody. I do not know if the advice works in Mississippi, but it is valid in NC. Thanks and best of luck!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
NCDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#6

I am in the military. Last year, while living in Mississippi, My wife started seeing someone, while I was deployed to the Middle East. I heard about it from a concerned neighbor, who emailed me while I was there. When I returned, I confronted her with it, and of course, she denied everything. I didn’t really believe her, but what could I do? I had no proof. Now, here it is - 8 months later. We live here in NC, he is still stationed in MS, but right now, he’s in the Middle East. Recently, I was able to see some emails that my wife sends to him - and there’s all the proof I need. But, after researching this on your websight, I read that this is illegal. I know she was having an affair, and that this will continue when he returns home. If I can’t use the info that I have, what can I do?