Actually, from the responses I have read on here from the attorneys, since he did not end the marriage immediately upon finding out about this, he essentially forgave her and has no claim. I do not know what the time bracket is for this, a week, month or longer but I do know that unless he found information of a new “relationship” there’s not a whole lot he can do, and his attorney, if he’s been honest with him would tell him that.
He may have some basis to use these in court but with his knowledge of these for that amount time, he is basically gave his consent. It is not considered adultary without and actual sexual act.
Now, as far as the alimony goes, here’s the definition of “Marital Misconduct”:
"3) “Marital misconduct” means any of the following acts that occur during the marriage and prior to or on the date of separation:
a. Illicit sexual behavior. For the purpose of this section, illicit sexual behavior means acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined in G.S. 14-27.1(4), voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse;
b. Involuntary separation of the spouses in consequence of a criminal act committed prior to the proceeding in which alimony is sought;
c. Abandonment of the other spouse;
d. Malicious turning out-of-doors of the other spouse;
e. Cruel or barbarous treatment endangering the life of the other spouse;
f. Indignities rendering the condition of the other spouse intolerable and life burdensome;
g. Reckless spending of the income of either party, or the destruction, waste, diversion, or concealment of assets;
h. Excessive use of alcohol or drugs so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and life burdensome;
i. Willful failure to provide necessary subsistence according to one’s means and condition so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and life burdensome."
“A party defending against an action that includes allegations of marital fault also has certain common law affirmative defenses to the fault allegations. These defenses have technical names: condonation, connivance, collusion and recrimination. The most commonly used of these defenses is condonation, which stands for forgiveness of the particular fault. For example, if your spouse has engaged in illicit sexual behavior with someone else and then you have sex with your spouse knowing about the illicit sex, in the eyes of the law you may have condoned the fault”
Now, with all this, your friend’s STBX may have a case of alienation of affection towards the last man your friend had e-mail conversations with but unless it was right at the time of separation it will be difficult for him to prove that this is what led to the separation. I don’t think she has anything to worry about. She needs to not let her STBX intimidate her and quit playing defense. Her job, if this goes to court is to show that it is in the best interest of the children for her to have custody.
You were right about NC being no fault state. The only two grounds for divorce are one year and one day separation and incurable insanity. Almost every divorce could involve a 3rd person if you get down to the details and the courts know this. If he tries in court to say that her e-mail conversations with a male friend almost 2 years ago caused him to leave the marriage, the judge is likely to know that this is just an excuse. If she has ANY proof of his affair, she had better gather it together. Record phone conversations with him. See if he will admit to her that he started the affair before he left her and get it recorded…She doesn’t need to let him in on that she has it, maybe just reference that he’s not the only one with ammunition. He may only be trying to scare her into signing something so he doesn’t pay alimony and so she will give him custody…just a thought. Hope this helps.