If he won't leave, can I?


#1

I need to know what my legal obligations are to be able to leave our house that we share, if he refuses to leave. I currently pay all expenses, due to his unemployment for close to 3 years. We have tried to stick it out, but after 14 years of marriage & 2 children, our situation is not improving. I am prepared to leave if needed, however he cannot afford to stay if I no longer pay the mortgage. His take on this is that I can’t make him leave since his name is on the house as well. I feel stuck, if I leave and do not have to pay the mortgage, I could afford a new place, but do I take the risk of my house going into foreclosure? He says if I leave he will make the payments somehow, that if I’m ready to go, then take the kids and go, quickly. Is this possible without the threat of abandonment or some penalty of my rights? I also worry about having to pay to keep him up, just because he can’t or won’t find a job. I have a place to go, just waiting to know if I can or not legally. I hate to keep waiting and let the new place slip away due to my slow actions, but I can’t just jump and not know what I am jumping into. Please help!


#2

You have a financial obligation to the mortgage company even if you move out. If your husband cannot make the payments, the home could go into foreclosure. You will want to ensure the mortgage is paid each month.
If he has agreed to your moving out you may do so, without fearing a claim of abandonment, that is only applicable if cohabitation is brought to an end without the other party’s consent.


#3

Understanding this now, what options do I have. How can I make him leave since he is not contributing to pay and in turn the arguing is affecting all members of the household. I don’t want my kids to continue to think this is how it is suppose to be, they will suffer emotionally if we stay together. However, I can’t pay the Mortgage for a house he lives in as well as rent for myself & the kids. That would just enable him more to do nothing, “why work when it’s all paid for by someone else”. I need to leave or make him leave, how can this happen? Is bankruptcy my only option out of this mess, and will that even solve the issue. I hate feeling trapped. Please offer some ideas, thanks!


#4

I would suggest you negotiate a Separation Agreement and Property Settlement which outlines who is to pay what percentage of the mortgage, an amount of child support, ect, before you move out. I suggest you begin talking with your spouse to see what the two of you can agree on, and have an attorney draft up and Agreement. You may also want to check out our DIY service which can help you draft your own agreement.