In state moves in custody case

My suggestion for this would be that you and the stbx discuss putting into the papers that should an in state move be an option that both parents must agree to an arrangement. 50/50 custody does not have to change it just means that obviously there would not be equal time with both parent should a move occur. IF something like this were to come up wouldn’t it be better for the children to agree now to see what the situation is at that time in the future. I mean wouldn’t it be better to have the agreement that in the event of an in state move by one parent that you two will look at what the best situation is for the each child at the time and decide what is best.
Say you or your stbx does move but the child is 17 at the time…wouldn’t it be best at that time to let the child have a say? Or the move comes up and the child is 13 but has a special function at school that is not available where the other parent is moving…Or one of you must move for finacial reasons. It is not right to ask a parent to give up custody because they are not able to find work in their area…If a parent can not find work they are not able to support the child and should not be penalized for moving for finacial reasons but that parent should also not expect to be able to have the same visitation schedule as before. If you need to move then IMHO you should not expect to change the child’s routine…

You could have the agreement stipulate that each parent should give written notice of any such drastic move at least 60-90 days prior if able and that a meeting will occur at that time and the custody arrangement changed. Would you and your ex agree to that?
If you two are truly interested in what’s best for the child then there should be no stipulations that do not have the child’s interest. Go ahead and set vacations and holidays so that will not need to be decided in the future…the rest of the time is what you decide should the situation ever come up…

thanks stepmother i am meeting with him and will attempt the new wording… i just hate arguing a mute point… neither on of us is moving nor has any plans and he just wants me to say that we give up custody i agree i would never never hold anyone bacl from bettering themselves financially he somehow thinks he is gaining a one up on me if i agree to putting his verbage in there… because i grew up in raleigh but we have lived here in wilm for 7 years straight and on and off since 1993…again i thank you for your reply.

Can you tell me if you have a custody order or agreement in place? By divorce papers do you mean a consent agreement on custody?

You can file for divorce without resolving the issue of custody, the divorce has no impact on the courts ability to address custody. However, if you have the right to alimony or need to ask the court to divide your property those rights will be cut off when the divorce is entered.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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my stbx has recently pulled a new card regarding custody… we have been sharing 50/50 custody consistently w/ no major interuptions for 18 months since separation. He now is saying that he will not sign any divorce paper agreement unless it states that if one of us moves( and i dont mean out of state)just anywhere- that that person forfeits primary custody option. I think it is ludacris to add that bc it is a given that if one person decides to move that it will inevitably change the existing arrangement… i am unsure of the weight it would carry if i did agree besides the point that it is completely ridiculous… i know that ususally out od state moves will be addressed but my quetion is how often if ever is that awarded… and if we go to mediation and cant compromise what is the likliehood of our existing 50/50 agreement going to stand… being that it takes the most compromise of both parties and if we were doing so well we prob would not be in front of a judge to begin with…

brooke lewis