Infidelity How can they prove when there is NO PROOF

I am in the middle of a divorce and both me and husband has had multiple affairs. We had a Domestic Partnership agreement in 1999 and finally got married in 2013 after same sex marriage was legal.We both have had multiple partners throughout our relationship both with and without each other. I guess it would be best to say neither knows what monogamy means. It was but not offically a Polyamory Relationship. There is not evidence other that hearsay and verbal but nothing recorded on either end. The only thing is that there is a medical record in which my husband has contracted Genital Herpes. I have been through testing and I do not have it. He has always contented to be faithful and I was the only one cheating. and yet this was in March of this year and I test negative in August. This is the only proof I have. All intimacy left our marriage about fifteen years ago. Due to this I met someone and had a relationship with him but there is no proof of that except i have admitted it and I developed a drug problem and went to two rehabs. I have been helping this individual monetarily ever since 2016. Husband knew of affair and allowed it to continue without doing anything about it. His insurance paid for my rehab. I was told by him that his attorney said that he could not hold that against me. Now he is bringing up all sorted affairs and actions that has taken place during our time together. He moved out and forced me to a rental which plans of renovations. I never moved and never spent a single night in the rental. He is saying that i am back on drugs and selling and using in the martial residence and that i and living there with the individual I met . Which this is totally false and the individual i was with is in jail in KS. I also have a years worth of Random Drug Screenings and they all have be negative.I have been clean almost a year now. I do Outpatient Therapy 4 days a week .

He is offering me nothing is PSS and alimony. He doesn’t what to split everything 50/50. The mortgage is solely in his name at the advise of our accountant but I am on the deed. I am the dependant spouse as he gross 11k to my 3.5K I have 3K in personal bills. He promised to pay for rental and he now has stop. Since I never moved out of the martial residence I am still here. HE cut off all "unnecessary utilities " at the martial residence but I had them put in my name. How do I survive since clearly he was the breadwinner and I was not. WIll I receive 50/50 to include retirement and will I and I am due PSS and Alimony. Please advise. Thank you for your time.

You may need to file a court action against your husband for equitable distribution, postseparation support, and alimony.

Marital property is divided equitably (fairly), which is generally an equal division. Affairs won’t affect this unless it can be proven that one spouse used marital funds to perpetuate an affair during the marriage.

As to alimony, you will be awarded this if you are the dependent spouse, your husband is the supporting spouse, and you did not commit illicit sexual behavior. However, if your husband condoned your affairs, assuming he can prove that you committed an act of illicit sexual behavior, then he will have a difficult time arguing that he should not pay you alimony.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

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