Alright, I have some major issues, legal and mental, and I am in need of some assitance. My wife left me for another man 2 years ago. Without going into the complete heartbreaking details, let me just say I am very devastated over this and even more pissed off at our entire system and the lack of help availiable to low income individuals such as myself, Funny, I am a highly intelligent and very articulate person, I am not usually as finacially unstable as I have been these past few years. I am blessed with some unusual abilties to generate money though the buying and selling of many things ranging from antiques to auto parts, therefore I haven’t had an actual job like most people do for over 10 years, but I am in such emotional devastation and pain, I can’t bring myself to do what is required to do much more than pay my bills and barely eek by, I moved in with my mother as I could no longer tolerate living in the same rented house I lived in with her, I simply cannot afford legal assitance at this time, and even if I could, I wouldn’t, not after the way in which I have treated by them on this issue and in the past. My wife stole everything we had of value and wrecked my business reputation as an ebay power seller and stole thousands of dollars worth of sold merchandise belonging to my customers, hoping I would be jailed for mail fraud, so I couldnt dispute custody and so forth, she made sure it took me a long time to repay those people, It took me a year, A lot longer than the six months time limit I had to file for custody in NC, to repay these individuals and so I find myself in a bad situation with a complex multi-state case, However I do have a chance with special circumstances being concidered, and it is highly likely she wont even show up for the hearing to dispute her residency, and if she does, there is nothing to prevent me from grabbing some of my kids in the court house parking lot anyways. She is in louisiana and is hiding from me. I have no contact with my kids at present, and I am planning to file for custody here in NC just to see what happens. Yes,I know she could make an issue of her being a resident of another state, but I can’t win against her there, Her grandmother has been dating a judge in her current district and knows everybody in the system and I already know things are very corrupt there, so my only chance is to fight it here. again without the long story I did “kidnap” 3 of our 7 kids last summer and they were here with me until this past december, she found where I was living and drove up here and stole the 3 kids I had on christmas eve…yeah…just another blow to me from this inhuman creature that I had the misfortune to fall in love with. All I want is shared custody with no direct contact, or to divide them between us, I dont want to go through the legal route as there are issues I would rather avoid. Child support for one. Dont get me wrong, I would gladly support all my children, but I would prefer to die a thousand deaths, than to support her sinful and repulsive home. I simply will not under any circumstance support the break-up of my family, I refuse on high moral grounds. things would get violent before I would ever consent to that. If she can’t support them herself…send them back to me or come home where she belongs. Yes underneath my anger and rage, I still love this repulsive woman. For the record, I wouldnt accept even $1 in child support from her if the tables were turned…so its not the money…Its the idea and the law can kiss my ass. She will never recieve a dime from me, God as my witness, and Jesus as my savior, I do swear, on my life that I would cause permanent harm to myself and recieve disability and live off the sick society that created such horrid laws before contributing to the keeping of my family broken, I have been harmed enough, emotionally, finacially, and mentally, over the 14 years I faithfully stayed with her, to ever allow such insult to be added to my many injuries. I am, if you cant already tell, very distraught over this, honestly, I am very near being suicidal. I have lost even much of my very faith in God, I feel even abandoned by Him, so I havent much more to lose, save for perhaps a chance to see my children grow up, and to be able to teach them right from wrong, and hopefully they will not suffer the same fate that I have been ordained to. I do not believe in divorce, every moral fiber of my being has been challenged by this, and my wife wont even speak to me. I am unable to reach her to attempt a mutual resolution.To make things worse on me, her boyfriend would torment me when I used to attempt to call her at her parents house, which she does visit every few days, I already know if I go down there to attempt to take my children back the way she did me, violence would certainly occur.He has made threats against my life, so that would happen even if I didn’t begin the action. I know I would certainly murder him, without a single regret, nor a shread of remorse, for having done so,if I should confront them. I know I am in the right, and my only judge is The Lord God Almighty, You don’t need to tell me I shouldn’t have said that, after all, I really do not care what happens to me in this life, should it come to that.I do not fear anything, certainly not any man or human authority. I have stayed right here in NC to avoid that situation and to prevent a violent action from occuring, but unless I recieve some assitiance and support from somebody,then I am afraid I will be forced to go to where she is and make that confrontation. If I don’t take some definitive, positive action here and now, and find a way to force a resolution which is satisfactory to my conscience, fair to the children, and will grant me the peace of mind to be able to move on with my life, without her, Then I will go there, and bad things will happen. I do not want that, but I cannot go on living with this pain, nor can I avoid the problem any longer. My children mean everything to me. Forgive the fact I am venting some here, This isn’t an issue I wish to talk about, let alone deal with, that’s why so long has gone by without any action at all. I do know one thing for sure, my wife is a pretty stupid person, she is “intellectually challenged” if you will. Her boyfriend is the one calling the shots, He planned much of what she has done. She is also pretty gutless, and is very afraid to face me in any situation because deep down she is very ashamed and guilt-ridden. I am pretty confident she won’t have the guts to show up for a court hearing, I am counting on it, actually. I can be a pretty formidable person, and I am very intimidating when the need calls for it, I know her weaknesses, and I have much experience in courtroom situations, I have defended myself in several criminal matters, minor issues like tresspassing and so forth, and in many traffic violations, I have always represented myself, and I have never lost a case. I am not to fearful of my ability to handle this issue, all I need is to understand what forms and papers need to be filed, and in what order they need to be processed. The lawyer I did consult with, on this matter, told me that she felt I had more abilty than she did to try this issue and advised me to proceed on my own if I couldnt afford to hire her. I need to know what actions need to be filed. As of now, nothing has been filed by either party… No seperation… no history of domestic violence… no restraining orders, nothing whatsoever on the part of either party. Any suggestions?