Initially developing a separation agreement


#1

I cannot give legal advice but admire your fairness. I also give you credit for understanding when a relationship is not working and making a clean break (it may be hard on you both in the short run but continuing in misery would have been worse, in my opinion). As for your atty, can’t her paralegal or clerk assist getting info from the atty to you? (Again, I’m not sure how such relationships work.) Good Luck.


#2

Dear bc,

If the two of you cannot negotiate a separation agreement then your choice would be to go to litigation. However, since it has only been a week since you sent your proposal I would give it more time.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#3

Is the preferred choice to have a separation agreement before filing the divorce papers? My understanding is that you can still file for divorce and receive it without necessarily having a signed agreement. However at somepoint a separation/property will be required through mutual agreement or through a court action.

I still will have to go through the one year and on day separation for filing the divorce papers whether I have an signed agreement at this point or not.

Also just for more feedback, when we got married we never lived under one roof. We each have our own homes which we visited, her’s during the week and mine during the weekend. We never combined mailing addresses and we each had our own checking/saving accounts ( we never combined these either).

With regards to living underone roof, she did not want to move to my home because she did not like driving in heavy traffic and the trip to work would be about one hour drive (I was driving this amount of time anyway to my work…)

I relocated to my new job in late Aug 2006. She did not move with me due to her current employment and still paying the mortgage on her home. I have my own address with this new job. I Could not absorb her expenses during the relocation since I am still paying the mortgage and trying to sell my home due to the relocation. I told her I wanted a divorce in late December 2006.

Question, When would the one year and one day clock start, Late Dec or Aug 2006??

Thanks,
BC


#4

Dear bc,

If you do not settle your property issues before the divorce is final then you lose the right to ask the court to divide your property. This means if you cannot agree you would be left without a way to settle any disagreements.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#5

Thanks for the feedback.

I had a very brief phone call with by STBX and she stated that she did not want a divorce even though I told her I do not want to be in this marriage. What strikes me at odds is the fact we only been married only for one year and dated for 2 years. How would anyone wants to be in a relationship when the other person wants OUT…
This confuses me allot…

She stated that she will not respond to the property settlement papers from my attorney and I TOLD HER I WILL SEE HER IN COURT. What will be interesting is that she does not have allot of money to fight this in court. I do not have allot of money either but I can sell some assets to go the distance if necessary.

I will contact my attorney about filing a lawsuit against her to resolve the property settlement issues.

Will keep you posted…

BC


#6

Dear bc:

Greetings. If I were you, I would speak with an aggressive attorney who will continue, outside of court, for a while more to try to communicate with your spouse. The attorney can call her, send her letters, and help you decide other avenues that you should try before court.

In my opinion, court should be the last thing you do when nothing else works - even if you have to wait her out for a while.

Whatever you do - good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#7

Needing some input for my situation:
I have given notice to my wife for wanting a divorce in late Dec. 2006. We have been married for just over one year, but dated for 2 years. I had just met her after I buried my deceased wife of 15 years whom died from breast cancer. She looked very close to my deceased wife and I did not have any friend or relatives to help me cope with grieving. The reason for leaving is due to intimacy issues. I needed them but she was limited in giving. I did try to talk with her about this issues on many occasions while we were dating and during the marriage and even went to see a sex therapist before we got married, but non of this changed the situation. I realize that I married out of lonliness and she looked very close to my deceased wife.

I have contacted an attorney and she has submitted a property settlement in preparation for developing an separation. Prior to the marriage she has her own home, I have my own home, and I purchased with my own monies a vacation home that I put her maiden name on the title. I also inherited a living trust from my Dad’s estate. He die about a year ago. Right afterward we got married, I got a job in another city and was relocated. I wanted another home so I used this monies in conjunction with some monies her dad provided to outright purchase a new home. 2/3 of the monies for the home came from the inheritance. 1/3 came from her Dad’s. There was no promisory note or other documents showing this to be loan of any kind and I did not sign any papers for this money. I told her that I have to sell my home due to the relocation and I would use the proceeds to pay her dad off. The property settlement states that she keeps her home, I keep mine (that I am in the process of selling and will use the proceeds to payoff her dad), I give her the Vacation home, and I would keep the new home.
She is trying to find a job. She had been employed full time and part time.

She took it really bad when I told her I wanted out and when to see a therapist.

Given not knowing her state of mind, I do not if she is strong and/or willing to follow through with a separation agreement even though she did state as I was leaving that she would sign an agreement.

If I cannot get her to come to terms with the property agreement, how can I file a separation agreement and still get a divorce. She should have received the property settlement letter from my attorney little over a week ago. Have not heard anything back…

I have communicated my concerns with my attorney, but I am having problems in getting her to contact me. She has been in court allot and seeing other clients. I have emailed her to call me, but I feel like I chasing a moving target.

Any suggestions and input…
Thanks,
BC
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