I guess I should note that I believe the relationship is still ongoing, but most likely has cooled down. To be honest I really don’t know what is going on. After discovering her and the OM together I presented her with divorce papers and after several months she responded with her own papers seeking a dissolution.
In child support and ED marital fault is not really considered(or its not supposed to be anyhow). Only for alimony.
Thank you jnewman for your response. I figured as much concerning how the affair would affect the divorce, I was wondering if I had a cause of action concerning their behavior outside of the divorce, or maybe I should ask for alimony. I had no plans to bring any of this up until I saw what my wife was asking for.
She makes a good salary as a teacher and will eventually make more than I do a year. I do not see any reason to pay child support if we share custody/parenting equally. On principle I do not believe she is owed any money. Had she decided she was unhappy in the marriage and wanted a divorce I would have been more willing to part with my retirement, but since she chose to go outside the marriage and then behave so horrible after discovery of the affair, I can’t bring myself to “reward” her with a monetary settlement. For years I tried to get her to pay into a 401 plan, but she never got around to doing it until just a few years ago.
My wife had a year long affair that I thought ended in Feb 05. I spoke with the OM and wife who both claimed they would discontinue their relationship. I discovered that the OM was calling my wife’s friend April/May 05 and caught my wife speaking to the OM in the parking lot where they both work recently. My wife was diagnosed with an STD in 2004 and I was later diagnosed in 2005.
Do you think I have cause to sue the OM and could I also sue wife for damages? We are in the process of divorcing and I had hoped for a “friendly” divorce since we have a 4 yr old daughter. I recently received papers from my wife’s attorney asking for child support and half of my 401k retirement (we have agreed to shared parenting). I was willing to not bring up the affair or the STD, because I didn’t want to drag this out or have it get messy. Now I’m not so sure.