Interesting Idea


#1

I think that’s a good idea. Legally, you can ask her to repay you the money but you may not get it if this has already happened. If it’s coming up then you could let her know that since this was a last minute change, she will be getting a bill. If this has not happened yet and you let her know this is what you are planning to do, she may make the call about changing her own plans and sticking to the original schedule.

My husband is always accomodating his ex and her schedule and on occasion it has really irritated me. We are constantly changing our plans and schedules so that she won’t be inconvenienced but we never ask her to change her plans. It’s gotten better over the years but it still happens to some extent. She used to ask to get the children on our Saturday’s to take them somewhere and after my husband put his foot down about it, she quit asking. Now the thing she does is having him drive the total distance to drop off and pick up because she doesn’t have gas money…give me a break…no one has gas money. Either quit using up all your gas going to party and spending hours driving the roads just to be driving, or quit whining that you can’t afford to pick your children up 30 min away.
Sorry to rant…I get very upset sometimes that some Xs out there do not realize how good they have it and that just because their lives are out of control and unorganized doesn’t mean that they have to spread it around…especially when it involves the children. Children need structure and schedules, and it irritates me that the lazy parents seem to get all the breaks. (/hops down of her soap box) I know that everything comes back around but sometimes I get a little impatient waiting for that…


#2

I’m with you on that! My son sees a specialist in NC for a medical condition he has. I pay the insurance on it and my ex usually pays the co-pay, which is never more than $40. A month or so ago, she called me and said she did not have the money for the co-pay and would I mind rescheduling the appt. and taking him when he was here for the summer. Then, not more than a day or two later, she announced she was going on a cruise. Let’s see, she did not have the money for the dr. appt. but she had money for a Bahamas Cruise. Does that seem a little odd to anyone else out there?


#3

I’m in a similar situation, except I’m the ex-wife and my son visits dad in the summer. Well I pay for daycamp out of my pocket and I have too in advance to secure a place for my son in daycamp. But my ex doesn’t ever know for sure what dates will work for him, so even though he didn’t use a full week of pre-paid daycamp I had to pay the fees in advance. And this is getting trickier with year round school. By the way, no refund for situations like this. In regards to your topic though, if it is your pre-determined set time to have your kids for your visitation then in the future demand that the schedule be in writing and be notarized. “If it ain’t in writing then it ain’t real.” I’m sure Helen can attest to that. I leave my ex alone for the most part during his vacations with his son. I only need to know dates, where they are going and to check in daily with my son. Other than this, it is what it is and you need to put a stop to this in writing going foward. If she will not agree to put it in writing you can simply file a complaint with the court house and then she will have no choice. Go at this from a matter of fact attitude vs. emotional attitude. All the best to all involved.

quote:
[i]Originally posted by historyman919[/i] [br]Every year, during the summer visitation I have with my children, my ex finds a way to cut it short. This year, we planned everything right down to the day they were to go back. We (my ex, my new wife, and I)sat down and planned when the visitation would be and arranged for my daughter to be in a very good day camp while we worked. Then, during the visit, the ex called and said that she had arranged for them to go on vacation and that I would have to bring them back a day earlier than planned. This knocked my daughter out of a day of camp. Do I have a legal right to send my ex a pro-rated bill for the day of camp that she missed? We paid for this camp out of our pocket, over and above child support, which I think should be suspended while I ahve the children for a month, but that's another topic. She does something like this every summer, but I wonder if I could at least recoup the money for a day of the camp she is missing because of the actions of my ex.

#4

It makes me wonder if my ex’s new girlfriend feels this way about me. My life is pretty unorganized but my heart is in the right place. I think they are out to abominate any credibility that I may have and deserve and make similar accustations about my life as the ex wife.

quote:
[i]Originally posted by stepmother[/i] [br]I think that's a good idea. Legally, you can ask her to repay you the money but you may not get it if this has already happened. If it's coming up then you could let her know that since this was a last minute change, she will be getting a bill. If this has not happened yet and you let her know this is what you are planning to do, she may make the call about changing her own plans and sticking to the original schedule.

My husband is always accomodating his ex and her schedule and on occasion it has really irritated me. We are constantly changing our plans and schedules so that she won’t be inconvenienced but we never ask her to change her plans. It’s gotten better over the years but it still happens to some extent. She used to ask to get the children on our Saturday’s to take them somewhere and after my husband put his foot down about it, she quit asking. Now the thing she does is having him drive the total distance to drop off and pick up because she doesn’t have gas money…give me a break…no one has gas money. Either quit using up all your gas going to party and spending hours driving the roads just to be driving, or quit whining that you can’t afford to pick your children up 30 min away.
Sorry to rant…I get very upset sometimes that some Xs out there do not realize how good they have it and that just because their lives are out of control and unorganized doesn’t mean that they have to spread it around…especially when it involves the children. Children need structure and schedules, and it irritates me that the lazy parents seem to get all the breaks. (/hops down of her soap box) I know that everything comes back around but sometimes I get a little impatient waiting for that…



#5

JustUs - This was specifically directed at my husband’s ex. She is one of those people who believe that the world revolves around her and that everyone owes her something…
Having your life unorganized is not such a big deal as long as the children aren’t affected. My feelings about this are because my stepsons are constantly asking where they are staying, who’s picking them up and things of this nature. When they are with us, they know they are with us. When they are with their mother, it’s her boyfriend or her mother picking them up. They may stay at their grandmother’s or be with us an extra night cause their mother had to work…they never know for sure and it’s very confusing keeping track of thier schedules at times.
I do not ever mean to presume that anyone posting on here is the lazy, or horrible parent and I aplogize if you got that impression. If you are doing what you believe is right for your child and it does not hinder their relationship with the other parent then I applaud you. You are that child’s parent and no one else, except the other parent, knows what’s best for your child. Don’t be concerned with how anyone else feels about you or thinks about you as long as you are doing your best for your child.


#6

Sending her a copy of the bill is not going to fix this problem, it is simply going to inflame what is already and intense and frustrating situation. If she is continually denying you time with your children you can go to court and enforce the order. I gave you additional information on how to do this in your other post on this issue.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
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The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#7

Every year, during the summer visitation I have with my children, my ex finds a way to cut it short. This year, we planned everything right down to the day they were to go back. We (my ex, my new wife, and I)sat down and planned when the visitation would be and arranged for my daughter to be in a very good day camp while we worked. Then, during the visit, the ex called and said that she had arranged for them to go on vacation and that I would have to bring them back a day earlier than planned. This knocked my daughter out of a day of camp. Do I have a legal right to send my ex a pro-rated bill for the day of camp that she missed? We paid for this camp out of our pocket, over and above child support, which I think should be suspended while I ahve the children for a month, but that’s another topic. She does something like this every summer, but I wonder if I could at least recoup the money for a day of the camp she is missing because of the actions of my ex.