I was married 1 1/2 years ago in NY. I have continuously resided in NY. My wife has continuously resided in Charlotte. She told me yesterday she wants a divorce. I do not wish to be divorced. NY has no fault divorce but it requires mutual consent (I believe). There are no grounds. If she files for divorce in NC, the court there will not have jurisdiction over me, right?


So long as you have not subjected yourself to jurisdiction, no.


What would I need do to submit (inadvertantly) to jurisdiction? Would just visiting her in the state be sufficient? And wouldn’t that have to be after we lived apart for one year? Thank you.


Yes, your visiting her could establish the required minimum contacts, and it does not have to have been after you separated.


I have been married since 11/09. Since that time my wife has resided in Charlotte, while I have resided in NY. She desires a divorce. I do not. We are together every 2nd or 3rd weekend; sometimes in NC; sometimes in NY. We have also spent weeks at a time together in summerd, over holidays and vacation times. We have had sexual relations during that entire period; most recently Jul 2011. If she files in NC for NF divorce and states merely that we have lived in 2 differnt states for at least the last 12 months, can she succeed in obtaining a divorce? Is the answer different if I apprise the court in NC, that although we have lived apart, we have had regualr relations since 11/09?


With respect to the martial relations , one act, or even a few occasions of sexual intercourse will not reset the clock on the date of separation, however a holding out to the public that you are still living as a married couple will. It really all goes to your intention. If you and your spouse had a set routine where you would be reunited in the same home, having sex, and staying together overnight in the marital home regularly with the intention of being together as husband and wife, I would say that the date of separation is not until those activities ceased.

You should be able to contest the date of separation by stating that your living situation has been consistent since you married, and that the two of you had an established routine whereby you would be reunited as husband and wife, including regular relations and holding yourselves out as a married couple to the world. Once these reunions cease, then I would say the date of separation could be established.