Just some questions


My fiance and I are trying to find a way to get regular visitations with his 3 children they live about 30 minutes away in Rutherford county. We live in Gaston county and he has mutually agreed visitation. His ex-wife has not allowed him any contact with his kids in over 2 years, nor from his side of the family. His ex has filed false charges against him in the past and that is why he will not go to her property and wait for the kids to come out to tell them he loves them and thinks about them daily.

My fiance is on disability and that is our only income–we can’t afford an attorney, and legal aid doesn’t have the resources to take the case. I have been fortunate that a lawyer is going to help us get started, but his area of practice is not in family law. He has asked us to get all the court orders and paperwork together, my problem is we can’t find it. We moved and have appearently lost them. Is there a place I can get it online or will the court house have copies and what does it cost? Is there anywhere that would do a visitation order/amendment pro bono? If so who and where?

I am also concerned about the children’s living conditions. My fiance has told me about his ex’s cleanliness at home. He had come home from jobs when still married to her and there were magets, and roaches in the house. He had helped her move once and the house she was moving from was filthy. He told me that the cabinets in the kitchen had been “painted” by one of the kids with pasta sauce. Last October he got a call from DSS and someone had made a report that her home was infested with rats and roaches and wanted to know if he had any concerns. He told them about those above and more. They gave her the notice and she cleaned up like always. I drove by there the beginning of June to slip a birthday card under the door for Emily’s 7th birthday. No one was home, but the windows were cracked, and 1 broken completely–not boarded up. There was trash mixed with toys and rocks, no railing on the steps, but a 3 foot drop, also furniture stacked in the yard and molding. I emailed a lady at Rutherford county DSS the pictures I took with my phone they were poor quality and hard to tell what was in them. I told her my concerns and those of my fiance–haven’t heard anything back and do not think they took me seriously, knowing that I am the fiance of the childrens father. I personally find living in filth disgusting and would not want my children or anyone elses in those conditions. Is there anything more I can do?

When he had been allowed overnight visits she had brought the kids hyped on sugar, in filthy clothes or just a diaper that was soiled. She did not bring a change of clothes either. When he asked her if she would bring some by she told him NO! and thus he had to go buy them something to wear while he washed their soiled clothing–I hope she puts them in clean clothes now–none are in diapers which is for the best. They are 5, 7, and 11 years old as of this year. I am hoping and praying he can see them soon!

Forgive me for my long and indepth post.


The court orders that are in place now will be available in the clerk’s office of the county where the original court action took place.
Your fianc? will need to file a motion to modify child custody in that same file, and under the same case caption. Custody is modifiable based on a substantial change in circumstances which affects the well being of the children. Given the facts you list her, and additionally the fact that the children’s mother refuses contact, your fianc? has a strong argument to have the court award him visitation with the children.


Thank you. I am headed down to the court house on Monday to get all the motions and orders. I am hoping it won’t be long until he is able to see his kids. I know he would love to have full custody and her visitation, but he does not want to uproot the kids from their school and friends–so regular visitation is what he is after.

I have set up bedrooms for the children when we moved in to the house, but they soon got used for storage since it seemed he would never be able to use them for his children. We were given a storage building and I have cleaned the rooms up and put linens on the beds-we are hopeful to see them soon.


If the children are living in the conditions you described, something needs to be done. Perhaps your fiance needs to file for sole custody? I would if my children were living in unsanitary conditions. Is there a reason the children live like this? Can she not afford suitable housing? Their living conditions appear to be appalling in addition to the soiled diapers and “pasta sauce” cabinets.


There is no reason for them to be in those conditions, she owns the house, is a nurse in Spartanburg, SC and drives a newer 2000 something Toyota Avolon.

The kids are no longer in diapers and at the time of the pasta sauce my fiance was living in his truck–couldn’t work nor did he have disablity at the time. He was filing for it due to car accident that screwed up his back in 2001. He finally got section 8 or similar and was allowed to have the kids overnight when she would not clean them before bringing persumably to make William look unfit or make him have to clean them. She is lazy from what I know.

I have pictures of outside her home from June 16th, 2009 that showes furniture piled in the yard rottening due to weather. The furniture was there when I drove by back in Febuary. The steps to the front door has no railing and a 3 foot drop into some rocks, toys and trash. There are broken unboarded windows–I should have looked in and seen if the house was filthy and taken pictures, but did not think to do that at the time.

DSS has been called before and gave the notice of inspection and amazingly it was cleaned up. We did not call them, but they did contact William and asked if he had concerns and he gave them an ear full of concerns and yet nothing was done. I sent the pictures I took although poor quality I gave descriptions of the outside of the home and what I knew of her past for inside the home–they never contacted William or got back with me if they presued it or not. I do not think they did because I am engaged to the childrens father and they probably thought that it was false concerns to help him get custody.

I believe William would love to have sole custody, but that is a hard battle to win. Especially when we don’t have the money to amend visitation yet alone a long drawn out battle for custody–one small step at a time it seems. I hope desperatly that the children are not living in filth–my home gets dirty, but is dusted, vaccuumed, and thoroughly cleaned weekly. Steam cleaned every other week, dishes done daily as with laundry. We have pets that are brushed weekly which is why I vaccuum about every other day or more. Even though we live in a small single wide we have plenty land for the kids to run and play with our dogs, and the girls have a decent sized bedroom, and Jared will have his own. I know everything works out in the end, but I hope this issue is solved soon.

I am going to the court house tomorrow to get all the motions pertaining the custody and visitation. I have clothing for the girls that were mine, and then some of theirs from almost 3 years ago the youngest Allison can probably wear the handy me downs of the middle child Emily, and Emily can wear mine, Jared’s old clothing diffenently won’t fit him as he is sure to be over 6ft now. Last time he saw his dad he was about 5 ft 8in. I am wondering if I should take the clothing and pile of Christmas gifts fromt he past 2 years and their old toys down to her house, or goodwill.