My oldest daughter, she’s 10 has an over-night lock-in at school she wants to attend next weekend. She is slightly to moderately developmentally disabled and feels she needs me there with her. I want to chaperone to keep an eye on her in case she becomes distressed or has an accident during the night. My ex tends to spend his weekends partying, bar-hopping, getting plastered, etc…and I have little luck asking him for help. My fiance has said if Iwould like to go with my oldest daughter he will take care of my 2 younger daughters that night and find something special to do for them. If Igo, can my ex take any legal actions against me for letting my fiance watch the other 2 girls? My ex can’t stand my fiance, and Ido not wish to put myself or him in the way of legal reprecussions. I am afraid my ex would try to say Iam not taking care of the other 2 or that by leaving them with my fiance I abandoned them for a night.
Do you have a Right of First Refusal clause in your separation/custody agreement?
No we do not. Actually, we had a temp mediation agreement that ran out back in July. I have never left kid with anyone. My ex tho often leaves them with neighbors and a 15 year old girl and her 17 year old sister. They also spend thenight at my ex’s house. No ideas whether anything is going on or not. Kids say they have not seen anything.
You’re obligated to follow the rules outlined in your custody agreement. If there is no Right of First Refusal and based on what you’re describing – this particular overnight is an exception rather than a rule (and for a good reason) I doubt there is anything actionable from your ex. It would be safe to document the times that your ex has had others watch your children for extended periods of time as a counter argument (should you need one).
FYI – people can try to take action anytime they want – whether they actually have a winning argument is a totally different story.
If he raises the evening as an issue, as long as you have followed your child custody order or agreement, you should have no consequences in court for leaving your child with a 3rd party during your custodial time.