My spouse left the home a little over a month ago. She was a hoarder, and the marital home is unsafe due to this, and she is also requesting that we sell the house, so I will need to get it up to a point where it can be sold. I have asked that she remove her property from the home (above reasons of sale and safety around hoarding) and have sent an editable list for discussion of her property vs mine.
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After she left, the children wanted to reclaim the “large” bedroom (considered her office, but essentially crammed with her belongings) as their own (they were sharing a much smaller bedroom to permit room for her belongings in the big room). As such, we removed approximately 1/2 of the books from the home, being careful to avoid those of value (signed, sentimental, etc), but we are talking probably 4-5 floor to ceiling bookshelves worth (including the bookshelves themselves). Most of these books were library rejects, bought in book sales at 5$ a box, and I let the children dictate which children’s books they should keep, but she is quite certain that I have thrown away something of great worth. I donated them locally and let her know that she could retrieve them if she so desired, but she did not go to the location and continues to discuss the books. Is there anything I should do going forward, and am I in the wrong here?
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I gave specific dates for removal of her property from the home so that we can get it to a point of sale/give space for the children to be safe. She responded by finding a lawyer and stating that I may not dispose of or sell “her belongings”. However, I do not know what are hers, and she will not respond to my query about this. Are there items I am allowed to sell? We were married 3 years but have been living here together for about 10 years.
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Am I allowed to get a storage unit, pay for some time of it, and place her items in there? I have completely filled the small bedroom with her belongings, floor to ceiling, and have no idea how I will move forward with the house sale so long as she is refusing to discuss collection of her belongings. If I do this, am I expected to continue to pay until such time as she decides to collect? I stayed at home with my children, so money is very tight for me; she is living rent free with her mother at this time, and is not paying any kind of support (says she will help me out if I give her access as she wishes to the children, but I am advised by the officers involved in a criminal matter related to something that happened while the children visited her not to let her see the children)
Thank you for any insight into any of the above!