Marital home questions

My spouse left the home a little over a month ago. She was a hoarder, and the marital home is unsafe due to this, and she is also requesting that we sell the house, so I will need to get it up to a point where it can be sold. I have asked that she remove her property from the home (above reasons of sale and safety around hoarding) and have sent an editable list for discussion of her property vs mine.

  1. After she left, the children wanted to reclaim the “large” bedroom (considered her office, but essentially crammed with her belongings) as their own (they were sharing a much smaller bedroom to permit room for her belongings in the big room). As such, we removed approximately 1/2 of the books from the home, being careful to avoid those of value (signed, sentimental, etc), but we are talking probably 4-5 floor to ceiling bookshelves worth (including the bookshelves themselves). Most of these books were library rejects, bought in book sales at 5$ a box, and I let the children dictate which children’s books they should keep, but she is quite certain that I have thrown away something of great worth. I donated them locally and let her know that she could retrieve them if she so desired, but she did not go to the location and continues to discuss the books. Is there anything I should do going forward, and am I in the wrong here?

  2. I gave specific dates for removal of her property from the home so that we can get it to a point of sale/give space for the children to be safe. She responded by finding a lawyer and stating that I may not dispose of or sell “her belongings”. However, I do not know what are hers, and she will not respond to my query about this. Are there items I am allowed to sell? We were married 3 years but have been living here together for about 10 years.

  3. Am I allowed to get a storage unit, pay for some time of it, and place her items in there? I have completely filled the small bedroom with her belongings, floor to ceiling, and have no idea how I will move forward with the house sale so long as she is refusing to discuss collection of her belongings. If I do this, am I expected to continue to pay until such time as she decides to collect? I stayed at home with my children, so money is very tight for me; she is living rent free with her mother at this time, and is not paying any kind of support (says she will help me out if I give her access as she wishes to the children, but I am advised by the officers involved in a criminal matter related to something that happened while the children visited her not to let her see the children)

Thank you for any insight into any of the above!

  1. It is best not to sell, destroy, or dispose of any marital property until equitable distribution is resolved (either by separation agreement or court order). This is the same for things of value and no value.

  2. You cannot sell, destroy, or dispose of any marital property, which is all property acquired during the marriage except for inheritances. You can sell your separate property that you acquired prior to the date of marriage.

  3. Yes, you can obtain a storage unit and place her things in the storage unit. The important thing is that you do not dispose of the property. A storage unit would allow you to retain the marital property items without them getting damaged or destroyed until equitable distribution is resolved. You would need to maintain the storage unit until equitable distribution is resolved and all marital property is distributed. In a separation agreement or final equitable distribution court order, you should make sure there is a time limit (for example, within 30 days of the date of entry of the order or date of execution of the separation agreement) for her to collect her things so that if she does not by a certain deadline, then you will be free to dispose of those items as you wish.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

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The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Nevermind…re-read and it was clear you’d answered that! Thank you!