Martial Home


I will try to summarize since the details are overwhelming. Late in Dec 2008 I finally got my STBX to move out of our martial home so we can be legally separated and not soon enough divorced. Since that time I have found out that over the past 8 months he had not paid our mortgage on time and sometimes just did not pay at all. This was one of the only bills he was to take care of when we were together. I have no idea what he did with the money but it did not go on our mortgage. He has been gone now for over three months and has not paid any money towards our mortgage. Due to the payment being so high (10%) on an interest only loan I cannot pay the mortgage by myself and truthfully do not feel I should since his name is still on the deed. He will not sign anything over so I can refinance and will not pay his half of the mortgage since as he states it (I am not living in the home). Our three kids live in the home but he doesn’t care about that since he is also two months behind on child support. Due to his late payments and now he has bounced one check he wrote to the mortgage company and cancelled another check he wrote my credit is now ruined along with his but he doesn’t care. I know he is doing all of this to just hurt me but forgets he is also hurting our kids. Since he file a civil summons against for everything I had to hire a lawyer but so far nothing has happened to make sure he pays while we work out the home. I will end up having the home foreclosed if someone can’t make him pay his half since I have been paying mine but that does not help since we just keep getting more behind. I feel like I just have to wait to lose my home and yet have a lawyer but nothing seems to be happening other than just waiting and now for three months. I thought there was a way to file an injunction since the home is a martial property so the home is not lost due to lack of payments. Both of us should pay on the home until resolved. I just have no idea where to go to get help and feel like I am talking to a brick wall half of the time and yet cannot sleep at night now while worrying about where we will live if we lose our home.


Your situation is amazingly similar to mine and my boyfriend’s situation! We live in the home that is in his and his ex’s name. She failed to pay the mortgage for 3 months before moving out leaving the house on the brink of foreclosure. We struggled to save the house from foreclosure using our 401K money to do so. She has paid nothing on the house since she moved out December 2007 yet she wants more than half the equity in the home if it sells. We went to court (in Johnston Co.) for interim equitable distribution but the judge ruled that there were no grounds for interim distribution at this time. Without her paying on the mortgage, it is causing considerable hardship on us. Basically, she left with the house going into foreclosure; filed bankruptcy so she wouldn’t have to pay the marital debt, leaving my boyfriend with 61K to repay (not including the house); and wants more than her fair share of the equity in the house. We feel we have no recourse and are at her mercy as well. I am sorry to hear about your ordeal. PLEASE, let us know if you find out a way to make your STBX pay because we are at a loss. Good luck to you…just wanted you to know you are not the only one going through this.


With respect to the child support, you should file a motion to hold him in contempt of the child support order. You will also want to ask the judge to enter a wage withholding order so that the child support payments can be deducted from his pay and sent directly to centralized collections. This will ensure the payments are timely made moving forward.
You may want to consider filing a motion in the cause for post-separation support (temporary alimony). If you are the dependant spouse, the court can order him to make monthly support payments to you aside from the child support.
Another option is to have your lawyer file a motion for interim allocation of the mortgage debt in which a judge can order that he begin contributing towards this debt.


My lawyer is very aware of my financial situation and the fact that he refusing to pay anything more so paying then either bouncing the check or just cancelling the check. Why would he not have already done this since he has now had my case for over 6 weeks and yet today I feel I have to be the one to remind everyone what to do and why I need help. I gues I am just not understanding what it means to be represented. Can I file any of this on my own so I can make sure I have something happening while my STBX decides what and when he wants to do anything since it just seems his lawyer just keeps anything from coming to closure.


You should set up some time to speak with your attorney before you file any motions or proceed in any manner.


I am already working with a lawyer but nothing is happening. That is why I was asking. There is also no child support agreement in place although we have been separated since Late Dec 2008. I am just totally frustrated and my credit is now being ruined due to lack of paying his part on the mortgage while I either try to get a new loan or attempt to sell the house. Since he has not signed anything over and it just seems to be put on hold this whole mess is just overwhelming. Now I just found our that he filed his taxes and claimed our kids. They do not even live with him and we had agreed to file joint. Just do not seem to have the right team working with me on this but yet when I owe legal fees they are all over me to get paid.