Married 25 yrs, 2 adult kids, one disable, lives with me. My husband and I can not agree on ED of our assets or Alimony. I am a supported spouse. Out of the blue, he presented me with a separation agreement, which he created himself. Extremely inequitable. I hired an attorney we presented him with an agreement. He hired an attorney they presented us with their agreement; very close to his original inequitable agreement, we responded. They said we should go to mediation. There was two month since agreeing to mediation and the scheduled date. I have not heard a single thing from my attorney in the two months, our date is in a week. I feel there need to be preparation to present our case to the mediator, for several reasons. First to get the mediator familiar with our case when he shows up, so we don’t waste hours getting him up to speed. I also feel there needs some preparation so the day can go smoothly, and I have my case in order, again we don’t waste time (my money). Is this normal operating procedure? For all parties to just show up and hope for the best??? I have a general idea of what I need to be prepared, but would be nice to hear specifics so I have everything. Would love to hear what is the norm.

Generally the mediator does not know any facts about a case prior to the mediation day. At the beginning of the mediation, your attorney will tell your side of things and point out issues to be negotiated and then your husband’s attorney will do the same for him. Then you and your attorney and your husband and his attorney will be in separate rooms until hopefully a settlement is reached.

Usually there is some preparation needed between an attorney and the client to go over the issues, which issues are not negotiable and which issues are negotiable, making sure any financial documentation is in order, putting together a first offer, etc. If you haven’t heard from your attorney, be sure to call him or her prior to the mediation so you can make sure that you are both on the same page walking into the mediation.