Separation / mediation question


#1

spouse requested separation a few weeks ago - blindsided me - does not want to move out- and now has lawyer contacting me weekly to respond to either pick a mediator , address issues I do not agree with on agreement they drew up or they will file papers with court to move forward .
Can I be expected to have these answers in 3 weeks if I am still recovering emotionally or is there a considered amount of time allowed to gather monies for a lawyer of my own ,research mediation options and make decisions on what I want ?
I feel bullied and need to know my rights .


#2

The lawyer may file suit if you do not respond to settlement negotiations. If suit is filed, you will have 30 days to respond.


#3

I have asked husband for time to get some money for an atty, we are just scraping by and my folks are broke from lending us money to keep house afloat . I want a little time to be able to get myself together emotionally so I can go into negotiations clear headed and knowing what I want . He is bulldozing me.

  1. is there not a reasonable amount of time to ask for to just get my stuff in order. He can leave anytime he wants , but seems to want the house I guess .
  2. Does house automatically go to the remaining spouse if other leaves ?
    3)If note is in one name and that person leaves would other still have to refi or would judge order bank to change name on note?
    4)If one of us allows the other to leave , would that remove abandonment and house be up for ED ?
  3. If he continues to move forward at a rapid pace doe he have more of an advantage being one to file or are we on even ground when it comes to court when it comes to child custody - or would court mandate mediation . we are both good parents . More advantage in property distribution ? We have more debt than assets .

#4

He may file suit at anytime, and does not have to wait for you to make any arrangements.
If you leave the home to reside elsewhere you cannot return absent your spouse’s permission.
The mortgage will be dealt with in the property division portion of the case, and the judge can order that the spouse keeping the home must refinance the mortgage into their sole and separate name.
Leaving the home does not change ownership and it is still subject to ED.
Filing first does not give one an advantage.