So I had child custody court last week and some information came out that idk what to think or do about it. The plaintiffs (father’s parents) and the father took the minor children to the ER at some point in March to have the girls (3 and 2 next month) examined for (all three parties danced around it) sexual assault and never told me (joint legal custody). The question came up in discovery of who bathes my daughters and I was honest that on the occasions my bf has his daughters here he bathes my daughters and his 5 year old daughter at the same time because they like playing in the tub together. The bathroom door is never closed and at most I’m about 10 feet away at any time. I’ve been dating my bf for over a year now and had met him back in 2006 so not some dating site hookup. So then in Feb the minors father entered a cross claim stating on information and belief that bf showers with my daughters, when I asked where he got that information he stated that the 3 yearold said my bf had given her a bath and he questioned her about it. So court was supposed to be in mid Feb but had to be moved so the plaintiffs and their lawyer moved court to June even though there were dates that came sooner. Sometime in March my ex and his mother took my daughters to the Er somewhere in wake county to get a full exam on both children because Jackie said my bf gave her a bath. This was mentioned in court but was not in any of the documents the plaintiffs or my ex had. When questioning them about this in court no one could give me a date when this occurred, why they thought it was needed aside from my bf had bathed her, why CPS and/or the police were not called (ex said there was no bruising or anything an officer could observe), why wasn’t I informed about that having taken place (ex said it came out negative so he didn’t think it mattered and his mom said it wasn’t her place to tell me), why if they thought this had happened they hadn’t pushed to get a closer date for court (I would think concerns like that could be considered an emergency), where is the documentation of the exam is, etc. There were no answers from any of them aside from not thinking it was important because it was negative. After the judge’s verdict my ex (also my codefendant) turns looks at me and says I know you would never let anything like that happen to the girls. I am and have been livid for days now. As there is still joint legal custody is there a way to formally ask my ex for the exam notes (I don’t even know which hospital this was at)? Should I get the paperwork to save when I push to modify (ex has already started not talking to me again) ? How does any of this work when the ex mil admitted that they (plaintiffs) had taken my ex (codefendant) to talk with them and their lawyer several times so she could tell him how court would work? It’s all beyond me at this point
It sounds like the opposing party cannot back up their claims with evidence. They can still take minor children to the doctor or hospital but likely cannot make any major decisions without mutual agreement from you, assuming your joint legal custody terms in your court order are defined in this way.
Since you do have joint legal custody, you can obtain the records. You may have to call around the hospitals to determine where they were taken. You can also push the opposing party and the lawyer to find out where the children were taken so you can obtain the records.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
So court was 6/5 and the judge had made their determination and laid a lot of things out verbally in court. The plaintiffs lawyer was to lay out what the judge ordered by 7/10 I got emailed the order draft on 7/1 and it is not what I remember the judge saying. I was representing myself because I couldn’t afford a lawyer so only the plaintiffs lawyer got the audio of what the judge ordered? The plaintiffs lawyer said in the email where the draft was sent that we could change things if we agreed to them but otherwise had to stick to the judge’s ruling and that nothing could be added to the finding of fact because it is not the time to retry the case. It’s just odd to me that for one example a line of questioning that was objected to because of it not being relevant and the judge agreed is brought up in the finding of fact and me being labeled as codependent because of it. Another example is that the grandparents are given more time than what I remember the judge saying in court.
You should review the audio recording of the trial. Everything the judge said on the record should be in the written order.
You can ask the plaintiffs’ lawyer to provide you a copy of the audio recording or you can go to the clerk’s office and fill out a short form requesting the audio recording yourself.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
I’m not in state. I am a citizen of MD now and have been for over a year. I have not ever dealt with anything remotely like this before and I may be completely out in left field, but a lot of this all just seems off to me. Court wise I’ll admit I’m not a perfect parent (no criminal records or drug use or alcohol abuse etc.) but everything has been hokey from the start of this. I will even admit that I think the judge was wrong with parts of the ruling but I could accept that (having mil drive me and the daughter to get her first several immunizations equals the plaintiff grandparents taking the kids to get medical care thus one of the ways I surrendered my parental rights?) and it’s just life at that point. However the judge ruled but then put it on the plaintiffs lawyer to write up the judgment (I thought the judge wrote the orders). Court was over on June 6 (or 7) and the lawyer said it would be July 10 before she could turn in the order for the judge to sign. I recieved an email from the lawyer with the draft order on July 2. As I said the documents don’t reflect what was ordered in court, the lawyer said we could agree and change some of the judges orders but nothing can be changed in the finding of fact because is not a “retrial”. The judge had given the grandparents some custody of the kids specifically so the grandfather (a teacher) could put the girls on his insurance and then in the order it becomes the defendants (the father and I) are responsible for having insurance on the girls at all times (the plaintiffs had a fit about the girls having Medicaid) with the father having to put insurance on them through his job or putting them on NC Medicaid. In the facts a lot of things are just wrong (my boyfriend has 3 kids not 2, the plaintiffs took the girls to be checked at the er for sexual abuse when it was repeatedly stated in court that the grandmother and the father took the girls but never reported anything to a CPS or police agency because there was not anything observable on or about the girls and furthermore the abuse check came up negative though that isnt mentioned in the finding of fact, compounded by the issue that the parties couldn’t remember the date they had it done on nor had any paperwork to even show as evidence about it, the judge also apparently had no negative things to say about the grandparents, and another fact talks about a CPS report that I’ll admit was done [older kids complained there was no food at home and my oldest son wore the same shirt every day [pull over sweatshirt he got really attached to and wore most of the time over his other clothes and was washed every two days at the least] so CPS went to the kids school and talked to them then came to our apartment unannounced to check us and it out and found no evidence of anything being wrong made one more drop in inspection and closed the case in the facts it says it was because of the state of the apartment as well but it wasn’t and once again there was no copy of the report for the judge to even see. ) It was admitted to in court that the plaintiffs had taken the girls father (defendant) to meetings with their lawyer and didn’t see anything wrong with that.
If you disagree with any parts of the proposed order, you should indicate this and respond back to the plaintiffs’ lawyer with how you think each sentence that you disagree with should be worded. If you and the lawyer still can’t agree, than you can submit two versions of the order to the judge and the judge will decide how he/she wants the order to read.
If the judge stated findings of fact on the record, then those exact findings must be included in the written order. You can get a copy of the audio recording to hear exactly what was said.
It is very common for an attorney to draft the order for a judge.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
Got the recording the plaintiffs lawyer added a crap ton to the finding of facts, and changes/omits very clearly stated orders. I emailed her back with the timestamps for the orders that were not correct in her order draft