Motion to Modify Custody


I am divorced. My ex and I came to an agreement for a temp order for custody. I attended mediation, he did not show up. (My atty was at court on his day of show cause and she told the judge we would have no issue with dropping the show cause because an agreement had been reached. She never told me of this, I found out from my ex and called her to discuss it with her.) On our scheduled court date, before going before the judge an agreement was reached for custody. Joint custody and I am the primary custodian.

My attorney was told to type the order and have my ex’s atty review it and then the judge will sign it. Just over 3 months later the order was signed, but a motion had to be filed because my ex’s atty refused to respond to my atty. When I finally received the order from my atty there were items missing from what we agreed to at court (Wed night for my ex, Mother’s/Father’s Day.)

My ex moved out of state for a period of time due to work and did not exercise alot of his visitation due to this. But, I made arrangements for visitation whenever he came into town, even with as little as 24 hours notice.

I moved in with my boyfriend. He submitted a modification of custody because of this. It has been 5 months since he has submitted his motion. His attorney (same one from the divorce) will not respond to my attorney’s (a new attorney for me) telephone calls or letters. Mediation has not been scheduled. My ex is now back in the state. He also notified me last week his girlfriend is moving in with him the first of the month. He still is not exercising all his visitation as scheduled and I am constantly having to do "make-up visitation for him. He feels he does not have to follow the court order because he is military. He states he is allowed flexibility regardless of what the court order says due to the fact that he is military. He continues to be very difficult and combative if I am not willing to bend over backwards for his at all times and is even using a death in my family, that resulted in him missing a weekend with our child, against me. BUT, I made the weekend up with him and he was asked if it was alright prior to the weekend occurring.

Is there a timeline for a motion like this?

He has asked for primary custody in his motion and for the judge to rule that I cannot live with any man I am not married to or related to by blood.
Also, he has asked for primary custody in his motion and for the judge to rule that I cannot live with any man I am not married to or related to by blood. We have never had any language related to dating or cohabitation in any order or agreement we have had in the past. Since the filing, he has sent several emails to me stating visitation he cannot do due to his schedule and listing more future deployments next year. He has also informed me that his girlfriend is moving in with him. We also has lived together for almost two years prior to marriage with my children from a previous marriage.

Will the fact he has waited to move forward in any manner and he has also the same changes by moving in with his girlfriend and admits to difficulty with visitation… will all this be taken into account?

Can I use this as an opportunity to have better guidelines put into place (language about telephone visitation, clarification of decision making, clarifying holidays, ect…) to help allieviate alot of the problems/and issues I have had with him when dealing with visitation in the past?

Thank you.


If you have a temporary order in place, your ex’s motion to modify is improper. If the court has not decided the issue of permanent custody then the matter should be schedule for trial.
With respect to his requests to change the visitation to suit his schedule, I would refuse. If he wants to see the children he will need to make himself available for visitation as the order provides.
With respect to the living arrangements, he too is living with his girlfriend, so his request does not make any sense.


We have had a permanent order in effect for 10 months from date of the judges signature, 13 months from the date of court (it took 3 months to get the signature.)

Thank you.


Even so, I do not think your spouse’s motion will be successful as your living arrangement mirrors his!