Temporary stop in visitation


Sorry for the delayed response.

Ultimately, you may not unilaterally withhold court ordered visitation. To modify an existing visitation order, you can file a motion demonstrating that due to the change in circumstances, i.e. facts supporting your reason to change the visitation, you would like to change the visitation to one that better meets your children’s best interests.

If you do not have a court ordered custody arrangement, you would need to file a child custody action and participate in custody mediation first. Hope it all works out.

Deborah M. Throm
Rosen Law Firm
1829 E. Franklin Street, Bldg. 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.265.0017 direct
919.321.0780 main voice
Email: dthrom@rosen.com

4101 Lake Boone Trail
Suite 500
Raleigh, NC 27607
919.256.1544 direct
919.787.6668 main voice

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
704.644.2531 ext. 100


I am seperated from my husband for a year and a half. He has lived with a girl and her 2 kids for a year. I wanted to meet her before our son went to her house for visitation but my “ex” cussed me for it and wouldn’t “allow” it. Since then the girl has been confrontational any time I have spoken with her. 2 weeks ago my “ex” informed me that his girlfriend confessed that she had been cheating on him with her “ex” for 3 months. She felt she needed to confess because while my husband and son were at the video store her “ex” tried to start a fight with my sons father in his presence. The guy tried to headbutt my ex and left an abrasion on his nose. At first,My ex said he can’t live like that, he has to find another place to live by the first of the year, has no money, the truck he drives is hers and he feels trapped until he can save the money to get out. We agreed to cash a tax check and split the money the court ordered ED way the following Friday. We talk the thursday before and he asks if he is getting our son on the next day at the bank (he has had him the previous 2 weekends even though court ordered visitation is every other weekend, I’m nice). I tell him due to the stresses he is having in his life our son can just hang with me until the smoke clears. He gets mad, decides he won’t cash the check with me unless I do what he wants and threatens to sue me for contempt. I have tried several times to talk with him about alternative visitation arrangements until he knows if the guy is going to leave him alone or he gets his own place. He refuses to even hear my suggestions. This weekend is my sons birthday. I invited his father to his party at a local fun factory and suggested they go out to dinner or a movie afterward but my ex says he doesn’t want to spend time with my family and refuses to come. I also suggested he pick up our son on Christmas Day and take him to spend time with his grandparents but he refuses to do that. Our son is supposed to go to his fathers for Xmas break from the 22nd to 2pm on Christmas day but I don’t think my son should have to spend his holidays with people he may never see again after the Newyear and should spend it with his (half) sister. My ex told me that he has a restraining order on the guy but refuses to let me see it and help me feel more comfortable allowing my son to go. Every time I try to talk to him about alternatives, he yells and cusses and berates me and we get nowhere. I am sure he is going to file a motion to show cause for contempt but I don’t think my son should have to be involved with his fathers drama. I am happy to make alternative arrangements for a month or two. Am I right in this matter? What will a judge say about my temporarily witholding visitation?