Moving Out of State - No Order


#1

I’m sure this isn’t exactly a unique situation, but after looking through several posts, I’m still confused and obviously concerned.

My ex-wife and I officially divorced in 2012. It was an uncontested divorce, with a separation agreement that spelled out custody, visitation and every other item such as insurance, child support, etc. It was pretty cookie cutter, joint custody, primary living with mom, secondary with me. Visitation schedule was written out cookie cutter, every other weekend, rotate holidays, etc. After we split, everything became amicable, and we hardly followed the agreement to the letter, because we were able to communicate and schedule everything. For example, there were some months that I had her every weekend. One time I had Christmas two years in a row, and everything was always agreed upon by both us. There was no static. I’ve paid child support (agreed upon of $400/mo plus I pay all insurance, dental, medical, and life), and never missed a payment.

My ex-wife remarried and is moving from North Carolina to Pennsylvania, obviously without my consent. She doesn’t think we need to re-write another agreement, but I know we do. We were headed in the right direction and nearly had another uncontested agreement, but now she has changed her mind once she realizes how costly it will be to be responsible for my daughters’ travel costs to and from to visit me. Our current agreement states she will put the request in writing 60 days prior to moving, which did not happen. She gave me a verbal “moving but not sure when” approximately 2 weeks ago (in violation of the original agreement). I found out today 7/25 again over the phone, that she is moving on or about 8/15.

I honestly can’t afford an attorney. I remarried and now have twin 4 year olds that have a genetic medical condition that sucks up all our money. We have some money saved up in a 401k, but I’m scared the costs for a court battle would break our bank and we would be flat broke.

Basically, I’m looking to find out what a typical visitation might look like when one parent takes the child out of state. I may still be willing to agree with her, however, she is wanting me to only have my daughter during winter break (approximately 2 weeks) and all summer (approximately 6 weeks give or take 1). I asked to throw in every other Thanksgiving, and spring break which is usually in March, but she refuses (says that would cost too much), I told her to consider these costs prior to seriously considering moving, but obviously she didn’t. If I can find out what the typical average out of state visitation schedule looks like, I’ll know whether I need to pursue an attorney. If all I would get is what she is asking, summers, and winter break, then it’s not worth spending $25k to get an extra week.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!


#2

When a child lives out of state, the only feasible visitation times are holidays, summers, and other breaks from school. Usually a large portion of the summer is awarded to the out of state parent along with major holidays like Christmas/winter break and Thanksgiving. Spring break is often awarded depending on how long spring break is and how far away the out of state parent is located. Every other spring break would be a reasonable request since 6 months pass between Christmas/winter break and the beginning of summer.