Moving


#1

Did your ex suggest another schedule or does he want custody? If you currently have primary custody then the only thing he could do to change this is to file for custody modification. If the schedule that you and your son have come up with is fair, you should let the ex know that this is the schedule that you are going to impliment. It would be a good idea to impliment it now prior to the move so that everyone has time to adjust. Or allow your son to stay an extended time until the move is complete to compensate. But make sure that your ex knows that this was your son’s decision and his wishes. Maybe suggest that you all try the new schedule at least for a year and see if anything changes.
Your ex probably feels that he’s losing his son because he’s been given the choice to live with you and move away. The child making the decision often is a little harder to deal with because you can’t blame the child as you could your ex. Your son is struggling with his decision because he probably doesn’t want his father to feel that he’s choosing you over him. He’s not. He’s choosing to continue living with you where he is comfortable. That may change with you getting remarried and/or the move…
Depending on the distance that you are moving, you could work with him so that there are extra visits to make it easier on him and your son.


#2

Generally it is not a good idea to discuss the custodial schedule with your child, no matter how old and mature you believe they may be. You and your ex may be causing your son serious distress by putting him in the middle of this situation. I think your first step should be to remove your son from this situation and see if you can sit down and talk to your ex and work out a schedule that works for everyone.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Sutton Station
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#3

Thank you Helen. We have spoken without my son around but he goes back and discusses it with our son and his parents - where I don’t even discuss it with our son anymore.

I do have a question with regards to joint custody and moving - if you have joint custody and in your papers you have to give a 90 day notice so the other parent can object or file papers and they do not -how do you proceed with moving forward? Do you just provide a visitation schedule?


#4

What does the agreement say you must do if you provide 90 days notice and he does not agree?

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Sutton Station
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#5

The agreement only states that a 90 days notice has to be given - in mediation I was advised that during that 90 days I needed to stay in town so if he filed any objection I would be able to appear - I was also advised that after the 90 days I could move but he was still at liberty to file an objection - but the agreement says nothing other than “In the even either Father or Mother moves from their present residence to another county, each shall give the other 90 days notice of their intent to move.” So I now have an official move date and will provide him with substantial vistation rights but I am not sure what to do if he declines since we have Joint Custody


#6

You should meet with an attorney before making any final decision. But my first inclination is that if you give the proper notice the agreement allows you to move.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Sutton Station
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#7

I have sole custody of my 13 year old son and I am currently engaged and in the process of moving since my fiance is not able to move here due to his government job - my son said that he wanted to move with me and did not want to stay and live with his dad but wanted assurance that he would see his dad a good bit - so the two of us - my son and I sat down and came up with a visitation schedule - we presented it to his dad and his dad declined it - my son has now gone through many discussions with his dad that my son has now decided that he does not want to make the decision and wants someone else to do it for him - what rights do I have to proceed as planned and activate the visitation schedule and my son and I came up with?