My husband and I have been married for 27 years. We live in Concord, NC and have one child left at home who will be 18 in Oct. My husband came to me in Feb. and announced he no longer wants to be married and would be happier on his own. We are still living in the same house and willing to continue to do so until our daughter leaves for college in the fall.
In the beginning when he first told me this I thought maybe he was just depressed because he owns a business with two partners and is constantly saying the business is not doing well. He finally went to the doctor and claims the doctor said he was not depressed but stressed which is normal, gave him a physical, and also a sample of Viagra, which he has yet to try and when I asked him why, he said he does not want to be intimate with me anymore. We actually haven’t been intimate in a a long time because he has become impotent and this has been going on for a few years now. I of course asked him if he has a girlfriend and he said no but at this point I don’t if anything he says is true…except the fact that he does want a separation. I cried and asked him if he would be willing to see a counselor but no, he just wants out but he insists he wants is to remain the best of friends. ???
We have a home worth about $400,000 which we owe $312,000 on. We have a condo at the beach that is almost 4 years old and we owe $110,000 on it and it is worth about $170,000. We have a 401-K that is worth $38,000 but is in his name only and a $12,000 IRA in both of our names. My husband retired from the fire dept. in 2003 and receives $4,000 a month in retirement benefits.
Along with all of the above, he is 1/3 owner of a business which bills out on the average about $400,000 a month. The business is 8 years old and has about 30 employees. He claims according to the books it only worth about $300,000 because they don’t own the building it is in but I would like to know what the actual worth is and also if he is hiding any assets. I should be entitled to 1/2 of his third and he knows this.
I know I need an attorney but I don’t have access to any funds and need a free consulation so I can find out what my rights are and how I go about protecting myself. I have mentioned to him several times that we need to seek legal advice and he gets furious…then yesterday he said we can do so but should use the same attorney. I am very confused. I only want what is fair and rightfully mine. I have been a stay at home mom for the last 5 years and am diligently looking for employment, but until then I have very little access to any money of my own.
I hope you can help guide me in the right direction.