MY RIGHTS have to be known to me

Married 10 yrs to very odd man who enjoys games of deception/trickery which stabs me in the back. He bought a house 2 yrs ago supposedly specifically for myself to live in, while he remains in his mother’s house caring for her at age 96+. He was to add my name to the deed along with his, but reneged on his promise after I completely moved in and furnished the once empty house etc. He paid cash with money to buy house from stocks he acquired long before me, which I realize the house then is his property.
Been living in the house for well over the year under high stress from him. He rebuilt the back covered large patio. Was to have a catio/caged area built for my cats as promised, but he slyly omitted. Then complains about my cats in my large bedroom, tho it’s kept clean.
I told him the other day, I would try to find a handyman to build me the catio for my cats that wouldn’t be drilled into the brick house, yet sit on the deck where a catio he promised he would build. I’d pay for it. HE SAYS NO. If I put one in…he will remove and burn it.
CAN HE DO THIS??? My cats need some air in a protected area for part of the day.
ALSO: I want to put up an affordable above ground pool in back yard right in the area where the porch was designed to have one…I would pay for it if I can for I’m 75 and need the exercise for bad leg and back. He again had promised to put a pool in, but another trick.
CAN HE STOP ME FOR PUTTING A POOL IN BACKYARD? he says he would put an ax to it.
He is starting to stack stuff on back porch to store when he has a large building to do so, just to be mean. He has in past broken into my bedroom that was locked while I was out shopping and denied it later. I have pics of the damage.
This gamer said I couldn’t put a patio table on back covered porch or he would destroy. I’ve put it anyway but took me a year to dare to. He had hot water heater set to cold I recently found out, tho he said I was paranoid …tho I have had to wash my face and body in cold water for over a yr.
Won’t hook up the ice maker to new frig, or put in garbage disposal, etc etc etc so much crazy stuff.
You may wonder WHY he is like this. What I have done?? NOTHING
Other than I discovered him cheating on me 7-8 yrs ago and called him on it. He had been unmarried living with his Mama for 50+ yrs til he begged me to marry him. VERY selfish/greedy obsessed by his every dime and his personal property/mean disposition that unveiled itself starting right after married me. WHY DON’T I LEAVE??? Long story. I have no home livable to live in, and unlike him who has a million dollars, he has made sure I have gone down financially and property wise.

Yes, he can attempt to prevent you from installing a catio and a pool in the backyard, just as you could attempt to stop him from installing something.

You can negotiate a separation agreement that would provide you with alimony and personal property so you can move out and begin to live somewhere safer and in a healthier environment.

If he refuses to negotiate with you, you can file a lawsuit against him in court. If you’re already living separate and apart and you have formed the intent to remain continuously separate and apart, then you can file for equitable distribution, alimony, postseparation support, and perhaps a motion for interim distribution.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Anna, I appreciate your reply. However, I need more clarity. Am I to understand that unless there is a separation agreement between husband and I concerning the house I live in which is his sole separate property which he does not live in…that he can remove, or destroy anything of my own personal property. Run off someone I have hired to install a detached catio on back deck. Can break into my locked bedroom, as he has once. Turn down water heater. Oh maybe he can even have all utilities shut off which is in his name. Anything goes…I have no recourse UNLESS I go to court to get a separation agreement or he agrees on one with me which is filed…
Have I got this right?

He owns the house, so yes, he can do what he wants regarding the house. But this does not mean that what he is doing is the right thing or that there is no recourse or legal consequences for it.

All of his actions show a pattern of marital misconduct on his part which you can use to support any claims you have for divorce from bed and board and alimony.

But the way to end this is to work towards dissolving the marriage and filing against him in court.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.