Okay new friends, I desperately need some fast information here. A friend of mine is in a very bad situation. Her hubby is an extremely controlling and potentially physically dangerous individual. Right now, he’s refusing to allow her to leave the house to even go to work and has threatened to call the police if I show up to pick her up for work. She wants to leave but will NOT leave her son behind. I’ve talked to the local police and they tell me they will not intervene since there is no current custody order on file or in process. She and I need some help here to get her and her son out of this and into a safe place. She is terrified to stand up against him because she fears physical assault. What can be done here?
I don’t know what the restriction are on this forum but I’m going to take a chance here and give my phone number for anyone with information to call me. 864-350-4563 If I don’t answer, please leave a message and I will call you back. I’m going to try to speak with an atty. and hopefully a Magistrate Judge to try to get her some help here so I may not be at the computer to read any responses for a few hours. Many thanks in advance for your help here.
Your friend needs to leave with her child. She should absolutely not leave the child behind, or he could use that against her in a possible custody dispute. Also, he doesn’t sound like a stable person to leave the child with regardless. She should leave as soon as she is able, taking the child with her, and she should then file for a 50-B protective order against her husband. If successful, she will be granted the house and custody for the duration of the protective order. He will also be ordered to keep a certain distance away from her, or risk being thrown into jail. I would highly recommend her consulting an attorney if she can afford to
Thanks for the response Ms. Russ. I really appreciate the info and I am in full agreement with you here. Unfortunately, her ability to make her escape is extremely limited at this point. I did hear from her today and his latest “threat” is to get her fired from her job by showing up at her work and picking a fist fight with someone. This guy is definitely a danger to her and the child and I fear for their safety. If I could only get her to grow some backbone and figure a way to get herself and the child out of the house I can get her to safety. May be giving your office a call tomorrow.
If you get her and her son out and get a protective order, MAKE SURE that the order stipulates that the offending individual is NOT to come within a certain distance of her, her job, the child or the child’s school. Make sure you cover ALL BASES!! Good luck.
Yeah, I’m hoping to get all that paperwork in ASAP but right now I’m sitting on hold waiting for her to s*** or get off the pot. She’s had two outstanding opportunities to be gone with her son in the last three days and she’s elected to go back against my advice telling me she wants to “do it her way.” At this point I’m about to run out of patience and give a flip, you know? I’ve burned two vacation days so I could “rescue” her at a moment’s notice to no avail. So far, everything I’ve told her was about to happen has happened and she’s still there. You can lead a prisoner to the gate but you can’t make them walk out.
If I was more familiar with NC Divorce law I’d handle it myself for her. For good or bad, I’ve got a 100% track record for winning a divorce and custody dispute pro se as I’ve been there, done that, got the T-shirt twice. I’m definitely in the wrong line of work here. Thanks for everyone’s help and advice here. Maybe she’ll eventually figure out what she’s going to do BEFORE she winds up in the ER or the morgue.
You are correct. You cannot help someone who doesn’t want the help. It sounds like she is just not ready to change her situation right now. Hopefully she will be soon.
Just as an FYI, I had some difficulty leaving as well just because it was frightening more than anything else. It’s almost a year later (one more month and those final papers will be submitted!!!) and I am stronger now than I’ve EVER BEEN. We moved out while the girls were at school and he was at work. The girls’ rooms were all set up for them for when they got to the new home after school so there really wasn’t a whole lot of disruption in THEIR lives (aside from leaving their father which made them VERY VERY happy). Unfortunately they still have to see him but not after a carefully thought out custody plan. Unfortunately no matter what, unless there is some EXTREME case, a court will most likely award him every other weekend no matter what. I’ve seen fathers who have been arrested for DUI while the kids are IN THE CAR … more than one arrest … and yet they still get unsupervised visitation. Sad but true. Just document EVERYTHING. Kudos for going pro se and winning two divorces. Yes you definitely are in the wrong line of work. Good luck!!!
Thanks for everyone’s help and advice here. Maybe she’ll eventually figure out what she’s going to do BEFORE she winds up in the ER or the morgue.