Need advise

Recently my husband decided to talk with ex to see if she would agree for their son to come live with him. The son is 12 years old and has express for quite some time of his desire to come stay with his father. We think he has never share this with his mother due to the fact of being “scared” to say that he wants to live with dad. The son said that mom will fuss at him anytime he wants to spend any extra time with dad. Well my husband asked his ex the other day if she would think about their son coming to live with him. The son has not done well in school and is struggling to pass due to his absents from study and lack of stability at home. The mom stated that she didn’t think it was a good idea at this time. The subject was not open to discussion because she didn’t want to discuss it in from of the son- 12yrs old and me. She would not discuss any further. Well ever since he asked her about the son coming to live with him – she don’t want to discuss anything around the son or me because she states that I am not his mother and it should be between her and my husband to discuss it one on one…which will never happen because she seems to twist details around to make herself look like she is the better parent. Just recently - child was enrolled in football and had games on our weekends and when confronted about her never giving my husband a schedule of games much less asked him about being in football she stated that it was between her and my husband to discuss their son - that is was her and my husbands son and I had no right to say anything about the situation. She didn’t start that until my husband asked her about the child coming to live with us. Any suggestions of how to deal with this situation with her and why she would act like this. She used to bring her husband along to do all the talking for her but now since he can’t be there she don’t want to discuss anything with me being there.

speaking from experience…you do need to stay out of this. This is your husband’s child and his ex-wife and he needs to deal with her either face to face, via e-mail or through the legal system. You can talk to your husband all you want when the two of you are at home alone but you are only going to make the ex mad (it sounds as though you already have) by trying to be involved. I would recommend your husband go after increased custody. The stumbling block here for his ex may be that if husband gets more time she could potentially get less support money. The system is not set up well to help parents share custody, especially when one parent(ususally the woman) depends on the support money. He may not need to hire a lawyer if they can work this out and have it notarized and filed with the court. If there is a custody order in place they probably need to do this.

I do not usually speak with her during these times – she just don’t like the idea that I am there. We are in the process of taking her back to court - we have contacted our lawyer – just waiting on the paperwork to get filed. My husband asked her about working it out him coming to live with us - she didn’t think it was a good idea of course which has led us to the court route. But she don’t want to discuss anything unless it is one on one - and my husband will not do that because he don’t trust her – she will twist things around and he don’t want to be alone with her. I think she would try to accuse him of something to cause trouble between us and his work – he works in law enforcement. She has tried in the past to cause problems. We have all met before her and her husband and my husband and me…and never had no problems but since he has asked her about coming to live with him – she don’t want me around. She has email but has never provided any of that info to us…she didn’t even let us know when she got a home phone.

A divorce ends marriage and all direct legal relationships between couples, except those relationships and obligations specified in the divorce decree. These may include such things as spousal support, parenting arrangements and support of children, division of property and payment of debts. I need some suggestion from you what’s the future of those children who’s parents decided for divorce ? Is there any legal boundaries to protect their children right.

I am a father who also has to deal with similar circumstances. I also am in law enforcement, so I understand your husband’s lack of desire to have false accusations placed against him. I also don’t want to communicate with my ex, but was forced to have lunch with her (actually it was just a small drink down at the local McDonald’s). So my recommendation to him is to have her meet him in an open area at a restaurant or mall type place. I know your husband isn’t crazy about communicating with his ex, but would greatly benefit his case in court to show his ability and desire to put his child first and his feelings (or lack thereof) towards his ex aside to do what is in the best interest of the child. Also, I agree with the other post that if it upsets the ex that much you should back off and let the husband do the speaking and decision making. Even if it is a decision both of you make, he should be communicating this to the ex. If you are going to court also document EVERYTHING. Check out your state laws on recording phone calls on the following website If it is legal buy a device at radio shack for about 20 dollars that you can plug into your phone line and then into a recorder to tape all your husband’s interactions with his ex about his child. Hope this helps and good luck…

Truly speaking as you are not child’s legal mother ,you can not do anything in this case. you seem to be emotional about the child…but you can only give emotional support to them…If you really want to take any legal action against her… better you consult to any Divorce Law Attorney

I really like your question…I can understand the mental condition of child whose parent decided for divorce…although there are some rules made for them like they should be given education, good environment for living etc…and it depends on mutual understanding and financial condition of parent.