Child's custody request

My son keeps saying that he wants to live with his dad, too. I don’t know your circumstances, but there is NO WAY IN HELL that he is going to live with his dad. My son gets no supervision while he is with his dad and has no rules. When kids live with one parent and visit another the grass is aways greener on the other side. He is on one big party, no school, no bed time, allowed to watch inappropriate movies, allowed on the Internet without supervision, eating out 3 meals a day, staying in hotels, etc. I, on the other hand, have rules and bed times and school, and morals and values. I am not the FUN one by my son’s standards. I am the one, though, that was his primary caretaker for his entire life. I understand that kids take out their anger on the primary care giver.
When my parents divorced, I too wanted to live with my dad. My mom allowed me to and the grass was no greener there. As a matter of fact it was brown.
My understanding is that yes a judge will consider your son’s request as well as a number of other things. Your son does not get to choose without the court’s input. If you have any “skeletons” they WILL come out if your ex fights this issue. It could get REALLY UGLY. If it were me ALL of my ex’s skeletons would come out and those of his family! I would tread carefully. Maybe your first step would be to marry the fiance, if you are cohabitating.
If you were my ex you would be in for the fight of your life! Unless your son is in danger I would suck it up and teach your son that life isn’t fair and we don’t always get our way.

Thanks for your input. Mom’s got a few more skeletons than I do if she goes that way. That’s why she snuck around and went to another state to get custody even though she had a lawyer in N.C. and she had the hearing in N.C. postponed until she could complete her plan. She promised my son that he could move here 2 years ago as he was having a lot of behavioral issues. When she found out that she would have to give me custody and her child support would be reduced, she quickly changed her mind.

It always comes down to the money. Most likely, your son wants to live with you because he is being neglected y his mother who has her own life and agenda to deal with. This is what usually happens. They play second fiddle to the new boyfriend and want out.

It’s always the children who get hurt the most in a divorce.

You always have the right to request Psych Evals on all parties to determine who would be the best parent for the child. Yes, the skeltons will come out but, in the end, the truth will be found.

Best of luck to you!


Dear hawkman:

Greetings. Yes, the judge “can” consider a child’s opinion, but at what cost? Bringing a child into the courtroom is almost never in their best interest. Have you talked to your ex about the situation? Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My ex has custody of my son, but he has wanted to live with me and my fiancee for the last four years. He will be 12 in a month or so, and I’ve been told that in N.C., at that age, the Judge can consider his request. Will the Judge actually consider his request at 12 or is it just the Court’s way of letting a child get his hopes up? I don’t want to drag him through this if there isn’t a chance that it could actually happen. If I decide to follow through with this, should I just request a custody hearing, or is there another way this can be done on my son’s behalf?