Loving Dad has a question


#1

You probably should post this on the legal forum since it seems that you will be going to court. I don’t think that in this scenario the courts favoring the mother is going to be an issue. When that happens the children are usually very young and the mother has been the more prominent caregiver in the child’s life. I do not think that a judge is going to take a child out of a stable environment at 15(?)and put him into an evironment like that. What type of custody arrangements did you have with your divorce? You wife can obtain visitation rights but to try and get custody of a child for what amounts to maybe 3-5 years til age 18 is unlikely. If your son wants to live with his mother, that would be a different scenario. The initial court date that you were served with is probably only a preliminary hearing, meaning that it probably won’t take long to hear and the judge will decide if there is a case.
Get a good attorney. You should mention to your lawyer that there has been no child support paid in the 10 years and yes, by all means let him know what her track record is with her other children, boyfriends, and jobs. The courts will look at what is best for the child and normally, not always, would not choose to upset a routine. And I don’t think that switching schools is enough of difference. If at all possible, try to record any dates that your ex had visitations, or phone calls with your son. Document everything you can. Take pictures of your home, your son’s room and neighborhood so that if it comes down to it, the court can see what environment you have and are providing for him. Your job in this is to show that you are the more stable and reliable parent to continue to raise your son, while at the same time showing that your ex is the opposite.
The most important thing, talk to your son. Explain it to him the best you can, without talking badly about his mother, and find out what his opinion is. If he is 15 the courts could possibly want to hear from him on this. It’s possible that your ex has changed and is looking for a “2nd chance” with her son. I believe that everyone deserves a chance to make things right, but to me, she should be trying to earn her son’s trust and respect rather than take him from the “home” he’s known. Good Luck to you and keep us posted!


#2

I am in a situation here. My ex-wife is trying to gain custody of my son. He has been living with me for over 10 years. She has never paid a dime for anything relating to my son. My wife and I are getting ready to move and we were served via u.s.postal service and was notified of the court date a week and a half before the movers are supposed to come. Guess what day the court date is?? The day the movers are coming. My ex-wife dropped my son off to me at 5 years of age and I took him with open arms. My present wife has been there through think and thin helping me raise him. My son is an A B student and is currently in honors classes with the potential to get into a great college or university. My wife and I have a stable home, we have great jobs, and we have two smaller children that are results of our marriage. All boys. My ex wife has had three jobs in the last year, she is living with a guy and the house is his. She lives out of our county and is using the excuse that she doesn’t want him to change schools. According to the school it is capped. So there are no excuses for anyone living out of the county to go to this school. I love my children so much it would devistate me to lose him to her. Will a judge take my son from a stable home?? We he allow him to go and live with his mother who doesn’t have a stable home? My ex has a son from a previous marriage and she allowed him to quite school in the 8th grade because he had failed so many times. She blamed him for this!!! It is not his fault she didn’t care enough to help him. I just hope I have a chance to keep my son. I am worried about the courts favoring the mother. She has lived wth three other guys before this one and has dragged her son from the previous marriage through all that. Will any of this help me??