I understand the pain you are going through, but she has a right to get her tubes done. She may not want anymore children. There is nothing you can do about that and it can’t be used against her in court. I hope everything works out for you. Good Luck!
Couple more questions: We haven’t filed for separation, and I pay $600 a month for child support on my own accord, and will increase it to $700 in Jan, should we file, or just wait until the year is up and file for divorce(the year rule really sucks btw)? Her mother is going to start charging her rent for sleeping on the couch, but said my son could stay for free as long as possible. My wife doesn’t work, hasn’t since 2001, and she wants me to pay her rent and pay for daycare and private school.
Also, if she is having sexual relations with another man, is that adultery even though we’re separated?
All of this is extremely confusing to me with the different state laws and military rules (she is in SC, i’m stationed in NC but i’m a resident of IL).
The fact that your wife had her tubes tied may be evidence of infidelity on her part, and if proved in court will be a bar to alimony.
In North Carolina there is no filing of separation. The separation period is 366 days and will be included in your divorce complaint (a sworn affidavit). You will have to sort out your marital property by way of a Separation Agreement prior to filing for divorce, or you will have to file for Equitable Distribution at the time you file for divorce. If you fail to execute a separation agreement, you must file for distribution of property simultaneously with your complaint for divorce or you will lose your rights to have your property distributed.
If your wife is having sex with another man it is adultery since you are still legally married, and it can to bolster your evidence of her infidelity and to prove she was having an affair before you separated, thus baring an alimony claim.
As for custody, there is nothing in the statues that says you cannot get custody of your child, however if you are deployed your being able to care for your son is impossible. He will be with your wife as grandparents do not have standing to sue for custody unless both of the child
First, I’m in the military. My wife of 8 yrs decided she wanted a divorce. She took my 5yr old son and moved in with her mom & step dad in SC. I have tried everything to fix our marriage. I have gone to counseling alone, since she won’t cooperate. However, I just found out that she had a tubal ligation this past monday. So now I’m well aware that I don’t want to be with her, even after all the effort I’ve put into this. I’ve filled out numerous questionares for lawyer sites and still no responses. Obviously since I’m in the military I can’t afford much, just what I get paid every two weeks minus the 600 i give her every month. I just don’t know what to do but since she’s had this procedure done makes me wonder what her intentions are. The reason we separated was because I found out she was emailing/chatting/and talking on the phone with this guy from Scotland, I confronted her about it and she blamed me for invading her privacy, so she left. We’ve been separated since the end of September 08. I haven’t seen my son in over a month, and I would love to get custody of him but I’m not sure I can swing that being a single military dad. Also, I’m going back to Iraq in May. Does her getting this procedure help ME out in any way?