Son reassigned

My son is currently separated from his wife. He is currently paying all the bills as child support (mortgage, utilities, both car payments, cell phone, etc plus some money), but she won’t allow him to see the kids. He is in the military and has been re assigned to a different state. He can’t get her to talk about a separation agreement cuz she wants to claim abandonment when he files for divorce in a year. She also said as long as there is no agreement he can’t enter the house, see the kids, or get anything out of the house. He will be leaving in May and can’t file until August. What can he do? He was told by a divorce lawyer as long as there is no separation agreement and doesn’t qualify for divorce there really isn’t much he can do. He was given a child support calculator and he is using that as a guide for right now cuz there isn’t a agreement. His wife also said she wasn’t getting a job so the judge would view her as helpless to make him pay more. Is this really the way North Carolina works? How can she claim abandonment when he is paying all bills to make sure the family is being cared for and he tries to visit and is denied. How do you file for divorce when 1000 miles away and be assured he will see his kids again? Mortgage and all bills are in his name cuz of her credit. Any suggestions? She has a history of depression, and has been ordered mandatory counseling for anger management. Son needs to get custody settled and know the kids are going to be ok. He is crushed about being transferred, but has no control. He at least got it delayed until spring. Please offer some help. He was willing to give her physical custody with him having visitation when he could get time off and a month in the summer, most of the household contents , a vehicle, health insurance, and pay the mortgage. She said no and wouldn’t even counter with her wishes. He has a set income and can’t even get a place to live. Thank you for your assistance. We miss our grandchildren!!


Based on the facts you list she has no cause of action for abandonment.
Your son needs to file an action for Child Custody immediately so he can establish visitation with his children. I suggest he make a telephone appointment with and NC attorney right away to get moving on this.

Thank you, I will let him know he has some options.

You are welcome.