Needing info from someone who has delt with this


I’m having a problem trying to find out how I can gain full an undeniable custody of my daughter. The “biological” father is only in her life because I went for help with day care when she was not even a year old. He wanted nothing to do with her from the day I told him I was pregnant. He was not in her life for the first almost three years. He is barely in her life now. Pretends that he cares, sends presents, but when it comes to actually “caring” he says “oh that is mommies job”. I am now married, expecting in a few weeks an my husband wants to adopt her legally. I have a strong feeling that the “absent parent” is going to try to keep this from happening. Either because of his family or because of his new wife wanting my daughter.

What is the best way for me to go about this without having to go to court? Can we, my husband and I, go about this without him? I’ve read up on laws and from what I have read he really has no legal right to her. I need some information please!!!

Distressed mother!


You definitely need to consult with an attorney. From what I understand, if the bio father is NOT on the birth certificate, then he has no rights. But you need to check on the legalities of that.


You should post this on the Legal Issues forum. If he is paying child support he has rights regardless of whether or not he actually has a involved part in your child’s life.
From the sound of it, you have sole custody now due to the circumstances, but because his parental rights were not terminated or given up, your child can not be adopted. I believe that it can go to court and his rights be given up but again, you should post on the legal forum.


Keep in mind that just because he has a new wife, doesn’t necessarily follow that she may ‘want your daughter’. You might actually find the exact opposite. It is possible that she may encourage the father to take responsibility and pursue a relationship with his daughter or try to be a friend to your daughter herself as a way of making her relationship with the bio dad work better, but that isn’t the same as ‘trying to get herself a family’ or attempting to take possession of someone else’s child. Just my 2 cents…