Not bring son home

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
1

I would like to know what my next step is to doing something about my son coming home.

We have a temp order that was done Aug 2008, stating that he only gets our son 4 weeks a yr. Is that order expired?

Also I was in Calif over the weekend and just got back yesterday. While I was there my ex texted me and said that his girlfriends truck was in the shop as well as his and there was no way he could bring my son home like promised, which was today.

I told him he needs to ask his family members or someone to use a vehicle because I have already extended it out by two weeks so he can take him to a family wedding.

He refusing to do that and he said I have to wait. I told him no that he better have him home. I called my attorney and he said that I would just either have to wait or drive to IL myself to get him. Why? Because the court system is so booked that it would take weeks to just get in. He did say that if I drove to IL that we would ask for the expense back.

There has got to be an easier way to get my son home. To make my ex bring him back home. I’m afraid he is going to keep him there and not return him at all.

Any advice other than using my attorney? Oh and I do have a really good attorney, so I do understand what he is saying about the courts being busy. especially in this military town.

Did our temp order expire? My ex swears it has. I don’t understand when we haven’t had our final court hearing.

2

Most temporary orders last for one year, and become permanent thereafter if neither side schedules the issue of custody for a permanent hearing.
As for the transportation issue, you will need to drive and get him, and can then file a motion to hold your ex in contempt of court for not bringing the child back if the order required him to do so. Your attorney is correct in saying that you need to wait or go get him, as there is no way to force your ex to drive him down at this point. Your remedy is to take him to court for contempt and to recoup your travel expenses.

3

Your choices. Drive. Get the child. Wait until the ex can get the child to you.
Court. Cost plus trying to get reimbursed for your travel expenses. A no win situation unless your attorney can get attorney fees and court costs for you.
Contempt. What they gonna do to the ex? Nothing.

My advise? Let it go. Unless he just decides to keep the child from you.

Or, drive. Get the child and be done with it.

4

Thank you Erin for your response.

Momsdaughter, you seemed to have been alittle rude there.
My son has been there since June and it’s unfair for me to wait so long for my son to come home. He has missed his dr appt, daycare stuff, etc.

Will I get the money back for that? Will I get the money back for daycare lost?

How would you say that being in contempt isn’t a good thing? How does all this work with the court system?

5

You may ask to be reimbursed for any money wasted as a result of the father’s behavior if he is found to be in contempt and it will be up to the judge to decide if such a remedy is appropriate.
Being in contempt of a court order is a punishable offense for which the father can be fined, or even sent to jail in order to compel compliance with the order.
You need to file a motion with the court alleging that the father is not following the order and ask that he be brought to court to explain his behavior.

6

Here is the news that is going on now.

I start college Monday. My classes are Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs at night. I work Fri and Sat nights.

I was told last night by his gram, and girlfriend that I have to meet them Half way. They have known for awhile now that I have school and also work. His girlfriend said that if I don’t meet them half way then I have to wait to get my son.

I have other children and can’t just leave them at home while I leave the state to get my son. I will miss school if I leave the state on Wed or Thurs. I will lose my job if I leave fri and don’t return by 4:30pm to be at work. They said they cant do it on Sunday because they have to work.

I have given in to to many things and feel that I’ve been used, lied to, and walked on. I told the ex last night that his girlfriend has NO RIGHT to tell me what I have to do to get my son back to me.

My ex left the state, he was told he has to drive all the way to get him and return him. I would like to know why I always have to be the one to get screwed in the matter.

They are making it harder and harder for me to get my son back. Should they do it on my time, or do I have to miss school or get fired from my job to please them?

Oh and the Ex said he didn’t know what was going on, but I know he does. I can’t disrespect his gram because I love her to much, but it’s getting to the point to where she is using that more and more to get me to give in.

I know I should have never allowed my son to go there this summer, and should have stuck to the agreement in hand. But, I thought I was doing a good deed. He has had him all summer and I haven’t seen him at all.

If I lose my job, am I able to go after him for what was done?

7

You will have to figure out a way to get your son, and make sure to outline all the difficulty it has caused you when you file a motion for contempt.

8

Thank you so much Erin.

My son is finally coming home Saturday. I guess I just couldn’t take it anymore and in a way, kinda made a threat about court and all.

My son wants to come home and everyone, including myself want him home.

I am making all notes and have told him that I’m doing so. I’ve contacted my attorney and told him, that we could do an emergnancy order and that since he wanted to act like this, then we should keep the temp order in place since it has been over a year.

Thank you again for all your advice and help. I can’t wait to hug and kiss him. My son said, “When I get home, we can”…lol I tell him “hugs and kisses” before I hang up with him.