Doing the right thing


#1

My ex and I, have a temp order that was done in Aug 2008. I have temp custody with him have 2 weeks in this month and 2 week in that month. No other visitation for he is out of NC. We have been divorced for awhile now, and we still have not gone to court for custody. I have had our son since he moved out feb 2008.

My question is this. I don’t want to be one of those mother’s who thinks she has the power to keep a child away from their other parent. I’m not like that. I am allowing my 3 yr old son to be with his father for four weeks starting at the end of this month til Aug 1st. (but only if our son wants to stay that long and doesn’t cry to come home after two weeks).
Is this going to look good on me for doing this since there is not an order yet saying so?

I do want him to have him for 4 weeks during the summer and every other major holiday. Do you think this is helping with want I want done? I think this is fair since he is so young and daddy lives so far away, many states away.


#2

I applaud you for allowing your son to be a part of your ex life…even though you have no order…many moms try to fight this…I have been there…this will show that you and the ex are willing to work together for what is best for the child…and you wanting him to spend that time with dad will look good on your when you do go to court and will show that you are willing to work together and agree what is best for the child. I would think that when you did go to court that if things are working out with no problems then that may be what the judge will allow and will make it less difficult to create the order… you and ex agreeing on everything for your son. Again…you are putting your son first and that is what is best.


#3

Giving your ex extra time with the child is a good thing and certainly will not hurt your case if you want to continue to move towards allowing this extra time. You are free to agree amongst yourselves to anything over and above what the order spells out.


#4

Thank you.

I just wanted to make sure it doesn’t show that I don’t want my child around, but for that I want him to know his father as well.

We talked last night and if our son wants to stay an extra week with him if daddy comes and gets him a week early, then he will stay for 5 weeks because there is this cool boat thing going on in IL. I told his father as so long as he doesn’t cry to want to come home. He said to me that he didn’t know there was a timeline. I don’t understand why he would say that.
Why would he say timeline?

I didn’t want to argue with him for he doesn’t understand that he only has by a court order 4 weeks a year. So, I left it alone. I just want our son happy and to be around both parents.

Thank you again.


#5

Not at all, ensuring that your child has a strong relationship with the other parent, especially an out of state parent, shows that you really do have your son’s best interests in mind in that you want to ensure that relationship develops as much as possible. I commend your efforts.