About to separate from spouse. I had online relationship with another (never met in person). Spouse caught me.
- Spouse has shown strong signs of narcissism, gaslighting, parental alienation – all forms of emotional abuse toward me and, more important, our children.
- Spouse has used others, including kids, to harm me. Spouse has thrown out false allegations and later agreed they weren’t true.
- Spouse has threatened to tell the court I’m a horrible parent and, later, told me I’m a great parent.
- Spouse has instructed our child to steal from me while I slept.
- Spouse has taken all our money (then given some back).
- Spouse has had text conversations with child(ren) and had them delete messages.
- Spouse has talked poorly (and lied about me) to children in front of me and behind my back.
- Spouse has turned off my cell phone service (then turned it back on).
- Spouse has come to my work and threatened to get me fired.
- Spouse has threatened to call the police based on lies (that I threatened children and spouse).
- Spouse has been drinking in front of me / kids and lied to me about it when confronted.
- Spouse has harassed me via phone numerous times (calls dozens of times if I don’t answer).
- Spouse has said there is nothing left to live for.
- Spouse has history of (increasing) mental instability, including suicide.
- Spouse has continued to bully, pressure, threaten me if I don’t do things as spouse would like.
- After research, it appears spouse has exhibited traits that make this a high(er) risk situation for physical and even lethal harm to spouse, children, and/or myself.
What are my options here? I recognize I made a selfish mistake. But these behaviors have gone beyond any measure of reason. Should I leave house before a separation agreement? If I do, what legal jeopardy does that put me in? I’m afraid spouse will use it against me to try to keep kids/money. I’m nervous about everybody’s safety. I don’t want to go to court and spend tens of thousands of dollars (that, honestly, I don’t have)…but I also refuse to back down and continue being bullied. The children come first – what can I do to protect them and avoid this from becoming a nuclear wasteland of a divorce?