Obligations during separtaration


It’s considered desertion if you just leave your spouse to fend for herself (or himself). When you get a place of your own you are legally seperated, but you must obtain a seperation agreement so your obligations are met. You can have attorneys do this for you, or the two of you can agree on some preliminary terms before the down-and-dirty begins.


If separation is mutually agreed on and you both decided who will leave then its not desertion and whoever stays in the house will take all responsibilities (but don’t assume this, get it in writing)but If one leaves without notice thats called abandonment and they will be made to re-pay half of all martial debt from the day they withdrawed funds from the martial household. So from the day they leave mark it down and get copies of all outstanding bills, loans, carpayments, medical bills,etc: dated from that date because you will need it at a later date when it comes down to ED


Thank YOU all for the quick replies. In this case, only one of the parties wants the separation, the other does not want the separation (ME). Is that considered a mutual agreement in a separation? I do not think, “forcing” the other party to remain in an environment where they are no longer happy is a proper option or valid. They will be the party leaving although I do not agree/want this. Also the party wanting the separation is now asking to have their share of the house bought out. We still have not “officially” separated as of this note. Is this something that is done during the Separation period or after the divorce? Is there a law stating that after a certain period of time this can be done or can the leaving party force the other party into purchasing their part of the house immediately upon separation?



A separation doesn’t have to be bilateral. All you have to do is physically leave the marital residence and set up shop somewhere else.

With regard to the house, ignore your spouse’s demands for now. They can threaten all they want, but it’s up to the court to look at all of your assets and all of your liabilites, and equitably split them in two. Oftentimes a good lawyer will take a claim like the one facing you–“I want my money”–and find enough liabilites to trade off, nullifying her claim to the assets. Sort of like, if you two own equal stake in a car worth $5000, but she has a $5000 IRA that she doesn’t want to dissolve…then she might be willing to give up her stake in the car to get you to give up your stake in the IRA. Which is good for her, because IRA’s appreciate and cars depreciate!


Thank you again. I am sure this question is in this forum a 1000 times. I apologize in advance for asking the question again.

We have no children.
Our names are both on the house mortgage and deed.

Our names are both on an equity loan on the house. ( 11,5K left to pay off.). I am thinking 5,750. Is her half.

Autos are both paid for and each auto is under 1 name only. ( Her name under her car and mine under my name )

Furniture we will attempt to split up 50/50. As well as any savings.

Both of us currently work.

When/If my wife leaves how do I get her name off the house and deed. I really do not want to refinance. I will lose my low rate.

My question is… How does removing someone


Yeah, unfortunately it is. The court will order that her name be removed within a specified period of time; the only way to do that is to refi. An assumption of the mortgage does not completely free her from obligation should you default; maybe she would be willing to trade something in exchange for allowing you to assume the mortgage, however. Maybe take over the home eq loan completely? Ask an accountant to give you an idea of how much you stand to lose by refinancing over the length of time you intend to stay in the house. Then use that number to secretly negotiate.


As always thank you for your insight.

Unfortunately for me my wife is not a brick. She will want her name off the mortgage. Damn!. I just started this free fall…

Thanks again…I have allot of things to figure out…

May this Holiday season be all that it can be…


When one party wants out of a marriage and is going to separate. What is this party