It depends on what obligates you to pay her presently. If you are paying pursuant to a separation agreement, you may not be able to do anything about your obligation at this point. If you are paying pursuant to a court order, you may be able to modify it if circumstances have changed since the order was entered. If there is no document binding you to pay the amounts you are paying now, then you should have a lawyer re-examine your payments, because they are likely too much. On your own, you can check our child support calculator to find the appropriate amount of child support. Follow this link: http://www.rosen.com/ppf/ID/56/issues.asp
If your wife has committed adultery, you probably should not be obligated to pay her any alimony. If you do have to pay alimony, the amount you would pay should be determined based on your ability to pay, and you should not have to deplete your entire financial resources each month to provide alimony to her. The bottom line is that you should see an attorney to determine the status of your obligations and whether they can and should be modified.
Lara Stanford Davis
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.