Over paid child support?

Been there, done that. If you have an agreement, he can’t ‘deny’ the claim. You issue a show cause for him breeching the agreement. You can make a claim for lawyers fees because he breeched the contract. He will have to answer the show cause in court. He will have to go to court and stand before the judge and tell them how not paying child support is not a breech in your contract.

If he is pissed that the support is too high, then he can try to modify if there is justifyable reasons, but if the agreement is only 2 years old, he may have to wait another year unless the reasons are justifyable to doing it now. If he SIGNED an agreement for an amount of money, then he is bound by that amount until a new agreement/order is created.

You do not owe him back monies because he feels he’s overpaid. My ex tried the same thing to the tune of 12K. He signed an agreement (dispite my asking ‘how are you going to do this’?), then got angry at ME when his ‘plan’ fell through for some job he thought he had.

I think he’s blowing smoke on the restitution. Unless you get formal papers from a lawyer, then don’t worry. I would issue a Show Cause for Breach of Contract.

He can still see his children dispite the arrears in Child Support.

I think he needs help seriously. So now I have to find a new lawyer with NO money because he doesnt pay for anything, My lawyer that filed the suit had to withdraw because he met with her 3 years ago when we seperated, “conflict of interest” He filed his denial so now Im stuck! I would never deny him seeing our daughter I know he loves her, he just hates me or maybe his new wife hates me but whatever. I told him all those times he asked to reduce the support “if you want to reduce the support then you need to do it on your own” Now he wants our daughter to go to school close to him cuz he moved 45 minutes away. He thinks hes a better parent cuz him and his new wife are “wealthier” than me.

Many of the things you say sound very familiar. I am still single after 10 years, and my ex remarried fairly quickly. More money doesn’t make you a better parent.

I still don’t think he can just deny the claim without going to court. It also seems that your lawyer should have known about the conflict before even taking you on as a client.

I don’t think your stuck. Hopefully Helen can get you an answer.

If you have to (like I had to do) and can, charge a credit card for consulation for a new lawyer. Something just doesn’t sound right about the ‘denial’. If it were that easy, then nobody would ever get sued.

Don’t worry about what the ex says about you or to you (as hard as it is NOT to worry). Been there-done that one too [:)]

I wish I had a credit card! he messed up my credit too (we both messed each others up) He wants me to sign a visitation agreement along with some other stuff and bypass mediation, it would include me dropping my suit. Im not doing that!!

Remember that you cannot withhold a court ordered visitation or a signed visitation agreement without real cause. That could get you into a lot of trouble. Let him threaten you and moan about the support amount or say that he wants more visitation…Have him put what he wants in writing and review it. If you can agree on it then fine. If you can’t then don’t.

I agree with the schedule, but thats all i agree with and Im not paying him $800 to sign it and to dismiss my suit against him I dont trust him, Ive already paid for mediation where it will be put in place then, Our date isnt until the end of september.

NO NO NO NO. Do not sign ANYTHING. He is trying to manipulate you here. Your ex sounds just like mine. He used every mean comment in the book and made it sound like he knew the law and that I was going to lose everything. I finally borrowed money from my parents and from a credit card to get a new lawyer and she reassured me that he was actually in the wrong. When we finally did go to court, he came UNREPRESENTED once (and got a continuance), and with a ‘last-minute’ lawyer the final time. My lawyer just swept the floor with him. He didn’t think I’d carry anything out. He just thought I would kow-tow and sign whatever he demanded (and it was a demand). That was 10 years ago, and he’s hated me ever since. He blames me for my lawyer doing her job, and he being publically humiliated. He also had to pay my lawyer fees because he caused the breech.

Do not sign. Try some other way to get to another lawyer for consultation. Beg or borrow (don’t steal :astonished:)) .

Ok coming clean you are my life support here! I know not to sign. He is VERY manipulative. He does act like he knows the law and Im sorry but there is no way he is getting physical custody of her. he would have to prove me unfit and Im not. He is pissed and lazy he doesnt want to drive 45 minutes to bring her to school etc, well then he shouldnt have moved far away. ahhhh he is making me so aggrevated. He knows I want this over with and I am nice and naive

He will continue to make you aggrevated.

My concern is making sure he is liable for the Show Cause. That is does not go away because he ‘denies’ it. Helen will answer that one. If he hasn’t done anything legal to stop the process, then let it go to court.

And don’t sign anything you’re not comfortable with [;)]
Other than that-let him rant. Try to ignore.

If you contact the NC Bar Association (not the NC Bar) at 800-662-7660, they will give you an attorney referral who will honor a consultation for $30 for the first $30 minutes. I realize there are fees beyond that, but maybe that is a start for you.

Of course, the attorney here will be of more help but have you contacted Child Support enforcement?


Sorry, I think I meant to give you this website that may help:


Will they help me get the past due CS? Our child support agreement was included in our separation agreement, not directly through the court, do es anyone know if I will get the past due amount owed?

I do not think the agency can recoup present arrears. That was done via agreement and I BELIEVE only the court can order him to repay. Now once you have your support done through the collection agency, then you are totally out of the picture. The state monitors, and if he gets in arrears, then they issue summons/show cause/ whatever.

I had to do this because it was the only way to force the ex to pay support. He was sporadic at best and got way behind (for many of the same reasons you have). I ‘trusted’ him to get paid back up mucho many times and then just got fed up. I had to take him to court on a show cause to get the arrears (in the form of his equity in the marital home).

ok thats what i thought. Everyone keeps telling me to use the NCCSEforcement agency and Im sorry but my daughter and I deserve what he owes. I pay for EVERYTHING for her, I don’t know how I make it some months as he lives in the lap of luxury, enough said. I am proud of myself for being able to take care of my daughter and I without anyones help, but its not fair to her or me either. I did find a lawyer who will take my case for $1200, just need to come up with the money somehow. He seemed like a “bulldog” on the phone, thats what I want. Someone to work FOR me

If the child support amount was in the agreement, he owes you what you agreed upon, even if that amount is more than the guidelines would have required him to pay. Unless the agreement provides otherwise, he has no claim for overpayment.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com/live for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

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Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

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My ex has been harrassing me to reduce the child support amount that is in our seperation agreement, I keep refusing, well now that its 2 years later he quit paying me support in February, doesnt pay for anything for our daughter (he still sees her) I filed a breach of contract suit (my lawyer had to excuse herself from the case due to conflict of interest) he is denying my claim, and NOW he wants “restitution” for over paying child support. Is that something he can do? he want like $14 grand! and he owes me almost $5 grand in CS

lorie shortman