Overnights with boyfriend


Dear agent4323:

Greetings. If you have your boyfriend spend the night with you, you are risking your alimony claim. Also, the court can order you not to have your boyfriend overnight while the children are in your care unless the two of you become married.

Your ex cannot stop paying you support simply because you have overnight guests, but he can reduce the support down to the guideline amount. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


I have been separated 18 months. My X is hateful and vindictive. He is also abuses prescription drugs and drinks regularly. He was in at least 5 rehabs during our 11 year marriage. He once fell asleep at the wheel while under the influence before we separated with my 11 year old in the car with him. He also went into withdrawals once when he was babysitting my 3 year old because he ran out of his pain medication and I had to call 911 when I discovered him. He is a total jerk, and has been giving me a hard time about signing separation papers and has not signed them yet.

We have two children together which we share custody of. I am the primary care-giver. He pays me child support a little bit in excess of what is required by NC law due to the large expense of my 4 year olds daycare. He is not paying me alimony. He makes over $50,000 yearly and I am making 29,000 yearly.

I have a new boyfriend who occasionally overnights at my home. He is a kind man and good to us. My children are sometimes home at the time with us when he stays over. The X is holding it over my head that he will stop paying my support if my friend overnights occasionally with the children there because I am not providing a “wholesome” atmosphere for them.

The X still drinks, and takes his pills along with the drinking in front of the children. He also drives my 4 year old around without a car seat which he refuses to purchase and has done so for over 18 months now.

I fail to see that my atmosphere is worse than his. Can he do anything to stop my support, and what can I do to make him shut- up?