Protection against this


#1

First, document everything. Keep a daily journal of all the stuff that happens. Do it every day. If nothing happens that day, just write nothing happened. Get all your recordings organized so any conversation is easily accessable. Keep a log of the recordings describing particular threats, retractions, or harrassment. Contact an attorney if you can afford one, if nothing else they may have additional ideas. I hesitate to tell you to contact children’s services for help, because I just don’t trust them. Your wife may have grounds to press charges against your ex, but that could blow up in your face later.
Even though I went through the same thing, I don’t have any answers for you. My ex called my fiancee’s employer and left messages on his business machine. She even called his home number reserved for medical emergencies at 2 in the morning. Hopefully Ms. Fritts will have some more definitive answers here.


#2

My husband’s ex did a lot of the same things during their separation and divorce. It got to the point that we didn’t want to go anywhere for fear we would run into her and there would be a scene. I spoke with a police officer friend of last year after being threatened several times by my husband’s ex. He suggested that I get a “No contact order”. He said that these were designed to protect against violence. I discussed this with my husband and we agreed that this would probably only make things worse. Basically, a “no contact order” would bar his ex from driving down our street, or coming anywhere near where I am. A friend of my husband’s at another police department said that most of the time those aren’t really worth anything. Stalking is illegal but unless it can be proven there is no case. In our situation, she yelled “wolf” one too many times about me and now even the children don’t pay any attention when she bad-mouths me.
The custody will be decided in the best interest of the children and there will have to be strong proof before a judge will allow “rumors and slanderous accusations” to affect his/her judgement. Hawkman is right, document everything, every day.
We had two incident reports from the police department when they had to be called out. The first time, she followed us to the police station so she could scream, curse and threaten me. (I was in a locked vehicle while she and him were standing out in the parking lot with two police officers. The second time, she came to the house to tell me I was not to be around her children. The police were called before he would even open the door. We also had recordings and numerous witnesses whenever she has threatened me. Luckily, she someone has told her not to contact me directly or come to my place of business. Most of these incidents happen “indirectly” and only when my husband was around, like it was a show put on for his benefit.
The best thing to do…have your wife dicuss with her school and place of employment any possible threats, so that they are aware of it before it happens and can discuss things with her if they come up. If she has already called her employer, talk to him about what is going on and let him know that it will not effect her work. I would suggest to him that if the ex calls again for him to report her, and to have him give the attorney a deposition of the phone call and his knowledge of any false accusations. Your ex can not force her out of the home.
I have already decided, for the childrens sake that I wouldn’t take any legal action. But if there ever comes a time that physical harm is done, there will be witnesses, there will be a hospital record, a police report filed, charges for assalt and I will NOT be dropping those charges.
I understand that parents are protective of their children but if the children are not being harmed in your care they have no cause to disrupt your life or cause harm to you. Record all conversations if possible. Give her enough rope…protect yourself, your wife and your children. Hopefully, the children haven’t seen too much of this, but if she’s anything like the psycho I have to deal with they probably have seen everything and heard everything. Don’t react to anything in front of the children. Don’t discuss this with them. If they ask questions answer them as vaguely as you can and make sure they understand that you and your wife love them and that THEY don’t need to worry about this stuff. This way, they possibly can see what is really going on.
If you’re in a custody battle, don’t be defensive, play offense. Time to start digging and turn the tables. We had my husband’s ex so busy finding coverups, making up lies, and making sure her stories were straight for the things she said and did that she didn’t have time for several months to worry about anything other than losing her children. He didn’t give her all the ammo we had on her, but he let her know enough to worry her.
Keep in mind that anyone who knows you or your wife will know the truth. Hopefully, have enough people who are close to you two and the children that are willing to step on a witness stand and testify to your relationship to the children and that the discipline measures for the children are not more severe than necessary. If she is accusing you or your wife of abuse, why hasn’t there been a medical or police report filed???


#3

Dear Kayleee:

Greetings. You can file a motion for protective order with the court and ask that your ex be restrained from making these types of allegations. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

I am a divorced father and am currently in a custody battle with the ex. the ex knows i can win the case, and is now desperate. she has now started making accusations about my wife leaving marks on the children. I have the conversation recorded, and also have the conversation of her denying that she said it. she also admitted trying to keep my wife out of the childrens life because she does not like her. the ex knows that an accusation like that could cause my wife to have to give up the career she has started back to school for, plus force her out of our home. That is now interfearing with our time with the children. what can we do to protect ourselves. We realy need help. Thank you.